<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You’re Somewhere...I’m Sure by h0n1e</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617953">You’re Somewhere...I’m Sure</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/h0n1e/pseuds/h0n1e'>h0n1e</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2jin if you squint, Adding more tags as the story progresses, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Catholic Guilt, Catholic Imagery, Catholic School, Catholicism, Come on lesbians do better, Coming of Age, F/F, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Gen, Growing Up Together, Haseul has mommy issues, Haseul plays the violin, Highschool AU, I'm Sorry, If you want something to get done you’ve got to do it yourself, Internalized Homophobia, LIKE EVER, Magical Realism, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Olivia I’m so sorry, Paganism, Psychological Drama, Religious Conflict, Religious Guilt, Religious Imagery &amp; Symbolism, Seriously the Loona Tag dry af, Slow Burn, Spiritualism, Typical Night Vale Weirdness, Wakes &amp; Funerals, chuuves - Freeform, everything else is written on the spot, gifted child burnout syndrome, idk I only have the important parts planned out, idk it's supposed to make you think, if it can even be considered that?, kind of like the Twilight Zone ?, loonaverse, sad beginning, this is my first fic, tw: Mentions of Suicide, yyxy prep school au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:07:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>35,930</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/h0n1e/pseuds/h0n1e</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A full scale investigation is sparked when a freshmen girl at a prestigious Catholic school jumps to her death. Unable to find a motive for her apparent suicide, her friends suspect there were grimmer things going on behind the scenes. This leaves Yves, president of the student council, as the main suspect.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hello...Welcome</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Again, I am saying this for your safety: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE! Not graphic or gorey, but it’s brought up and there’s a scene during a Wake service. Please do not read if you are upset by these things. I’ve never written a fanfic before, so I apologize for my lack of seamless transitions. It did take a lot of encouragement for me to post this, pls be nice to me I’m sensitive Aubrey :(<br/>It starts off dark but I promise it’s going to have a happy ending!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4> Tuesday </h4>
<p>Yeojin had been rummaging through the forest behind her house as she normally does. Looking for what exactly, is still unknown. She sometimes likes to pick up frogs she finds and put them in her bucket, but they always hop out. Sifting through the leaves on the ground, she finds a slightly rusted bottle cap. She can make out the logo enough to tell it’s from an Orange Cream Soda bottle. She puts it in the front pocket of her overalls and carries on. She usually doesn't wander out this far, but Haseul wasn't here to tell her not to. Haseul was her babysitter, yes, but she thought of her more like a sister. Or a friend, even.</p>
<p>Yeojin didn't have many of those. She has one to be exact, Choerry, but she's in the year above her and goes to public school. Yeojin was an only child and homeschooled. It's not like she had any neighbors either. All she had was a giant house and woods in her backyard.<br/>
Oh, and a babysitter.<br/>
But Haseul has track practice on Tuesdays, so today she was left unattended.<br/>
As she wanders farther and farther into the woods, she comes across a chain link fence. She shakes it a bit just to hear it rattle, and then walks the length of it trying to find an entrance. She notices that the fence is enclosing an abandoned swimming pool, probably from the prep school. Yeojin gets on her tippy toes to try and see which side of the fence has the gate. One side is obscured by the giant diving platforms.<br/>
<i>It‘s probably all the way on that side.</i><br/>
Squinting her eyes and blocking the sunlight with her hand, her eyes climbed up the rusted aluminum diving tower. All the way at the top, there was a blurry form. She squinted, trying to determine if it was just her imagination. Once the form started moving, she realized it had to be a person or animal. She bolted the perimeter to get to the gate. She tried shouting to get whatever it was up there to notice her, but her voice couldn’t carry that far.<br/>
<i>What were they doing up there?</i><br/>
Yeojin reaches the gate and pathetically tried to shake the chains that kept it closed. She tried shouting again, but only the trees heard it. She was already too late. Whoever was up there had jumped.</p>
<p>☽☼☾</p>
<p>“Hey, we’re going to go bother Vivi at work tonight. Want to come?” Heejin asked, only briefly looking up from tying her running shoes.<br/>
“As much as I like seeing her get mad, I gotta babysit tonight.” Haseul answered.<br/>
Hyunjin let out a cackle, slapping Haseul on the back.<br/>
“Isn’t that kid like 14? Why does she still need a babysitter?”<br/>
“She doesn’t. Her parents are just too rich to spend time with her so they hire me to do it for them.”<br/>
“That’s kind of sad, actually.” Heejin pouted.<br/>
“Yeah, being the sole inheritor of all that money must be tragic,” Hyunjin snorted.<br/>
Heejin slapped her arm.<br/>
Vivi came sprinting across the field towards them.<br/>
“Hey! Sorry I’m-,” Vivi coughed out. “I’m late because-“<br/>
Why a girl who has Asthma would join track and field is beyond comprehension. But that’s not important right now.<br/>
“I’m late because of the news about St. Cecilia’s,” Vivi finally said once she caught her breath.<br/>
St. Cecilia’s Preparatory School of the Gifted Youth is it’s official name, but Vivi just calls it Hell. She used to go there until her Junior year when she dropped out— or was kicked out, depending on who you ask. Especially in terms of sports, St. Cecilia’s is Hiland High’s number one rival school.<br/>
“I heard that one of their students, a freshmen, had jumped from the old Olympic diving board behind the school.”<br/>
“What?!” They all gasped.<br/>
“Who told you about this?” Hyunjin asked.<br/>
“I overheard it. I got stopped in the hallway again by a teacher because he thought I was a freshmen skipping class. Then some girl came out of the bathroom crying. The teacher asked what was wrong and then she told him that her friend had been found dead this morning.”<br/>
“God, that’s awful!” Heejin trembled.<br/>
“You said the girl in the bathroom was a freshmen. Do you know her name?” Haseul asked.<br/>
She feared she already knew the answer.<br/>
“She’s one of the odd ones...Carrie?” Vivi guessed.<br/>
“Choerry!” Haseul exclaimed. “She’s one of Yeojin’s friends.”<br/>
"Yeojin has friends?" Hyunjin mumbled.
"Now's not the time!" Heejin hissed.
"Sorry! Humor is my defense mechanism!"
“Do you think Yeojin knew the girl from St. Cecilia’s?” Vivi asked.<br/>
Haseul furrowed her brows and shook her head.<br/>
“I hope not.”</p>
<p><br/>
</p><h4> Sunday </h4>
<p>The three girls dragged their feet forward when the line of people moved up. The youngest sniffled and kept her head down. She was handling this situation pretty well for such a young kid. Jinsoul on the other hand, who was the oldest, couldn’t keep it together. She had to step outside of the building several times to collect herself. She knew if Choerry saw her break down it would only make things worse. When she felt she had gotten a hold of herself, she rejoined her spot in line, not caring if people glared at her. Jungeun gave her a pat on the back, silently checking to see if she was okay. Jinsoul nodded and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her jacket. The line inched forward again. They were almost at the room where the casket was. Alongside the hallway they were standing in, photos of her classmate were displayed on poster boards. Photos of her as a baby, a toddler, and an awkward teenager. All of her class pictures were on display, her most recent being the largest. It was a photo of her in her uniform; the yellow plaid one that all the girls at the prep school wear. As the line moved forward again, more pictures came into view. Photos of her with people; family and friends presumably. Jinsoul noticed one particular photo had caught Choerry’s attention. It was a 7th grade class photo; and to left there was Choerry, standing right next to Olivia. Jinsoul wanted to excuse herself again, but Jungeun held her hand and pulled her back.<br/>
“We’re almost to the door. Stay with us, okay?” She hushed in a barely audible tone.<br/>
When they finally had entered the room, a black casket was displayed in the front. Pots of white lillies surrounded the alter, which had one big portrait of her on a stand. Choerry let out a sigh of relief. She had made it to the room without making a fool of herself. She was afraid she’d scream if she actually saw her friend dead, but thankfully this was a closed casket wake. The room was silent except for the mumbling of words from some of her classmates behind her in line. It was a group of boys she was not too familiar with. She tried to tune them out so she could pay her respects in peace, but once she could hear what they were saying, the words sponged up all her thoughts.<br/>
“Bet her legs are all mangled because of the impact. Probably shattered every bone in her body from that height.”<br/>
Choerry was visibly horror stricken and couldn’t even begin to cry. Jungeun whipped around and faced the boys.<br/>
“SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT AT A WAKE? HUH?”<br/>
“Lip, calm down!” Jinsoul whispered through gritted teeth. “People are staring!”<br/>
“I don’t care! They’re about to witness the ass beating of a century.”</p>
<p>☽☼☾</p>
<p>“Sorry I got us kicked out of the wake...”<br/>
“It’s okay.” Choerry said.<br/>
“No! It’s not okay! If I kept my big mouth shut we wouldn’t be sitting in a Dairy Queen parking lot,” Jungeun muttered.<br/>
Jinsoul let out a weak laugh.<br/>
“No, I’m sure we would’ve ended up here eventually. Ice cream always makes Choerry feel better.” She said poking the younger girls cheek.<br/>
“Maybe not this time...I don’t think anything will make this feel better.” Choerry’s voice came quietly, barely even a whisper.<br/>
Choerry was in the back seat, hugging her knees and resting her head against the window. Lip and Jinsoul exchanged a nervous glance. They had never seen Choerry this sad before...they didn’t know it was even possible. All they could do was comfort her while the radio drowned out her crying. 

</p><h4> Monday </h4>
<p>“I think we should tell someone.”<br/>
Yves slammed her locker shut to reveal Chuu standing there with her head down.<br/>
“We didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing we could’ve done.” Yves replied coldly.<br/>
“You don’t think that maybe Olivia-“<br/>
“Don’t say her name.” Yves whispered shakily. She couldn’t bare to hear it spoken aloud.<br/>
“It’s not my- our fault. She was a girl that had a lot of issues. She’s dead because she killed herself. Don’t twist the story any other way.”<br/>
With that she left Chuu standing by her locker, with only the disappearing sound of heels clicking.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I‘ll Be There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When you throw a rock at your friend’s window and it breaks a mf vase</p>
<p>In other words, Heejin is the weird art kid and Hyunjin is the weird athletic kid and they orbit each other like two stars.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Heejin...I know this is you expressing yourself...but why does it have to be so...morbid?” Mrs. Jeon asked holding up the drawings.<br/>
Heejins roomed was littered with artwork covering the floors, on her desk, and some even graffitied on her walls.<br/>
“Something traumatizing happened to me at school and this is how I’m coping.” Heejin explained, not looking up from her sketchbook.<br/>
“Right...but should I be concerned? I mean this one is pretty graphic.”<br/>
She held up one of her recent watercolors; a girl laying on a mattress surrounded by red.<br/>
“Mom, they’re red feathers, not blood.”<br/>
“Is that supposed to be less concerning?”<br/>
Heejin sighed and put her head in her hands.<br/>
“Look, I’m just trying to understand. You know you can talk to me about anything,” Her mom assured.<br/>
Heejin knew she was genuinely trying, but she wished it were that easy. Her mind was constantly running all over the place, overflowing with thoughts. Sometimes she thinks so much she gets a headache. It’s not any use trying to get the thoughts out of her head, because the words come out wrong and the drawings come out ‘morbid’. She thought that maybe by visualizing these thoughts, they would leave her alone. But she can never escape the thoughts. They cling to her like old memories or dreams that you could almost recall. It’s almost like it’s her own memories, like deja vu. Too faint to decipher, but too loud to ignore.</p>
<p>☽☀︎☾<br/>
<br/>
Hyunjin was seated at the kitchen table, doing her homework. Well, technically 20% doing her homework and 80% singing along to her music. Her private concert was interrupted by the vase on the table toppling over and shattering.<br/>
She heard a familiar voice curse.<br/>
Hyunjin looked to where it came from and saw Heejin covering her mouth from the window above the sink.<br/>
“I didn’t know the window was open...I thought throwing a rock at your window would be a cute thing!”<br/>
Hyunjin wanted to die laughing but that would probably make the girl even more embarrassed.<br/>
“It’s fine; at least you didn’t break the window.” Hyunjin said trying to stifle a laugh.<br/>
“I came her to ask if you maybe wanted to go on a walk with me. Just like around town or whatever...” Heejin’s voice trailed off. Hyunjin looked back down at her unfinished homework.<br/>
It can wait.<br/>
“Yeah, let’s go to that new bakery in town. It’s not too far, maybe a a 15 minute walk.” Hyunjin said grabbing her purse that was slung over the chair.<br/>
Heejin tried— and failed, to hide her giddiness. When she gets excited like this, there’s a noticeable spring in her step. Hyunjin took note of this habit a long time ago, and has since kept her contact as “HEEJIN ❤️🐰”. </p>
<p>"Come help me clean up this glass first," Hyunjin pretended to be mad.<br/>
Heejin came in through the back door with her tail between her legs.<br/>
"I'll buy you a new one," she said sheepishly.<br/>
Hyunjin got the dustpan and broom from under the sink.<br/>
"Nah, I'll tell my parents it was Mr. Fatass over there," she pointed to the living room.<br/>
Her cat was sitting there licking his paw, oblivious to the bodyshaming he was being subjected to.<br/>
"Hey, he's only fat because you feed him too much!" Heejin argued.</p>
<p>The girls had known each other since elementary school, but didn’t become friends until 8th grade. They were both kind of shy in a way; Heejin was the quiet girl who drew all over her notebooks (and sometimes her desk by accident). Hyunjin was chronically bad at making first impressions; she has a strange sense of humor that not everyone gets. One of the reasons she joined so many sports was because she thought it’d be easier to make friends that way. It helped on the surface level, but she never really clicked with any of her teammates. Not that she made an effort to, admittedly. She had no interest in a team sleepover or a celebratory pizza party. At events like those, Hyunjin stands out like a sore thumb. Standing by the punch bowl trying to pour herself a cup as slowly as possible to waste time. Always on the outskirts of conversation circles, just nodding and laughing along, never contributing anything. If she were to say something, it would be a joke that would fall flat and might earn her a pitiful laugh if she was lucky. </p>
<p>Hyunjin guessed that’s why she likes Heejin so much. She genuinely laughs at her jokes if they’re funny. If they’re not, Heejin will straight up tell her. Heejin is weirdly confident when she wants to be. She’s too scared to ask for extra ketchup packets, but she’ll call someone out on their bullshit. One of these days she’s going to call out the wrong person and get her ass beat. Thankfully, Hyunjin promised to be there to stitch her up if her lip gets split. </p>
<p>Just the thought of being that close had Hyunjin blushing and almost tripping over her own feet. </p>
<p>“Are you drunk?” Heejin joked.<br/>
“What, is it not happy hour yet?”<br/>
Heejin playfully shoved her arm before linking their elbows.<br/>
“I’ll help you keep your balance.”</p>
<p>And just like that, Hyunjin’s gravity was centered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay MAYBE I lied in the tags. I might continue the 2jin pining 😌</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Late Bloomer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Missing Haseul hours open 24/7</p>
<p>It was time for Haseul’s backstory and I got sad and self projected oops</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  
</p><h4>Wednesday</h4>
<p>Haseul walked up the stone steps to her front door. It was white, but the cracked paint showed the wood underneath. Before even touching the handle, she took off her shoes. This was one of the many house rules. Her father was a self proclaimed germaphobe, but Haseul has seen him eat food off of many questionable surfaces, so it’s probably just an excuse he came up with to keep the house tidy. He was a cello player; a pretty renounce one for that matter. Most weekends he was booked to play all over the country for different orchestras. Her mother, however, was a wedding planner. Oddly enough, they met when her father was hired to play at a wedding her mom was organizing. That’s cute and all, but they are both so very into their careers that Haseul could hardly believe they’d ever want anything else in life. A few off hand comments from relatives over the years and Haseul had put the pieces together to find the cold hard truth: she was an unplanned baby. Of course she never brought this up to her parents. They already know it, there’s no need to make them feel guilty for it. Besides, it’s not like anything could be done about it now. In a year, she’ll be off to college and it will be like they don’t even have a daughter.</p>
<p>
  <span class="s1">She dropped her bag by the kitchen counter and headed over to the fridge. There was a note on it that read: </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Take the chicken out of the freezer. Don’t try to cook it. -Mom</em>
</p>
<p>Haseul snatched the note and crumpled it up to throw it away.</p>
<p>
  <em>I burned it ONE time. We needed to test the smoke detectors anyways. </em>
</p>
<p>Haseul grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and took her bag upstairs to her bedroom. The house rules also forbid this, but her parents won’t be home for another 2 hours. She was a pro at hiding any evidence of misconduct. Maybe that’s how she’s gotten away with being the complete opposite of what her parents want. As a kid, they showered her with Opera lessons and ballroom dancing and delicately painted tea sets. Haseul never refused it, but what else could I girl do? She was expected to want to play with dolls and wear dresses. What kind of daughter would she be if she hadn’t believed everything her mom told her? Her mom made a living off of the lives of feminine heterosexual women. She had every reason to believe her mom was an expert on what a married women should be. And unfortunately, Haseul did not check a lot of those boxes. Her mother assured her that she was just a late bloomer like her father. But Haseul is now in her senior year of Highschool, and she hadn’t bloomed yet. She had a particular fear that was always scratching the back of her mind, making a nest out of her insecurities. The fear became more of reality as she got older. The fear that maybe there’s something wrong with her. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Secret of Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ViVi works the late shift at her family owned roller skating rink. Under the neon lights, she reminisces about an old friend. </p>
<p>Haseul shares some top secret information that conflicts with what the news headlines have been saying about Olivia’s case.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Why do I feel like this is the longest chapter I’ve written lol I’m not very good at writing very long paragraphs, I’m too impatient 😅</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4> Thursday </h4>
<p>ViVi worked the 8-10 night shift at her family’s roller skating rink. The neon sign that flickered “O EN” was a mark of showing how run down the place had become. It hadn’t been remodeled since the 90s, and as cool as that sounds, it lacks functionality. The computer at the main desk ViVi works at is a fossil, slow as molasses and churning out god awful mechanical sounds when it tries to load anything larger than 2GB of data. The vending machines are cryptic; if you punch in 6D you’re sure to get 3E instead. Not to mention the soda vending machines always get stuck, and ViVi spends most of her shift telling customers to “give it a little shake, it gets jammed”. Not a lot of people actually come to skate, most are teenagers just looking to loiter wherever food can be found. Sometimes right before closing, a group of drunks will wander in and try to skate when they can’t even walk. But besides that, it’s just ViVi alone with the radio echoing in the empty rink. There is one guy, though. Tall, blonde, probably a college student. He only ever seemed to come in during Vivi’s shift; which was either flattering or creepy, depending on how you looked at it. They were at a standstill because neither of them wanted to talk to the other first. ViVi often wonders if she’s just imagining things and he’s really not there to see her, he might just be a guy who likes to roller skate. Being a girl is hard in that way. You expect everything to be like a romcom movie, but in reality it’s just a fantasy to keep yourself from falling asleep behind the desk. </p>
<p>Her ears tuned back in to the sound of the wall clock ticking. Only 17 minutes had passed. She drummed her fingers on the desk, trying to find something to distract herself with. This place is so behind the times that there’s no WiFi, so it’s not like she could go on her phone. When she gets bored enough like this she wishes she could skate. She knows how to, but she refuses. Skating had been ruined for her ever since a particular brown haired girl had branded herself onto the memory. Vivi can’t even hold a pair of skates without getting flashbacks to when she first taught her how to skate. She taught her everything. Vivi shivered and ran her hands through her pink hair. If she could turn back time she’d never had even gone to that stupid prep school. She would’ve turned down the scholarship and just said, “No thanks, I’ll keep my freedom.” Maybe if she had, she would have never met Yves, and met her current friends instead. ViVi always felt like she was a bit off to the side when it came to their friend group. She didn’t blame them, she held no resentment towards any of them at all. It’s just a matter of ViVi being the last to join the group. After getting her scholarship to St. Cecilia’s revoked (thanks to Yves), she had to transfer to Hiland High for her senior year. It’s not easy making friends as a senior, let alone one from the rival school. To this day, ViVi is still surprised how she managed to wiggle her way out of being labeled as one of the “weird kids”. You know the ones; horse girls, anime kids, theater kids, etc. She almost was indoctrinated into the Weird Kid Zone on her first day of school. The first person to talk to her was a senior named Jinsoul. </p>
<p>The teacher had called on Jinsoul when she was obviously not paying attention. ViVi was sitting behind her, dying of second hand embarrassment. She pretended to cough and whispered the answer. Jinsoul didn’t get the message, so ViVi coughed again, more violently, and kicked the back of her chair. Jinsoul caught on and relayed the answer to the teacher; who had witnessed this entire exchange and seriously considered switching professions. Jinsoul turned around and gave a thumbs up and said “Thanks for saving my ass, I owe you.” Vivi should’ve felt happy that she had helped her. She should’ve smiled back at her. But the seemingly meaningless interaction between them became poisoned from Vivi’s trust issues. She couldn’t smile or even nod back. All she could think of is Yves’ voice.<br/>
<i>“Thanks I owe you!”</i><br/>
<i>“Can you cover for me?”</i><br/>
<i>“Do this for me just this once and I’ll never ask for anything from you ever again.”</i><br/>
The last statement had more truth to it than she’d expected. That was the last time ViVi had done a favor for Yves, and it had cost her everything.<br/>
The next day in that same class, Vivi walked in and saw Jinsoul smiling at her from the back of the room. Vivi made eye contact with her as she sat down in a different seat in the first row. She watched the friendliness drain from her face as her eyebrows sloped downward in confusion. Vivi should have felt bad. But she didn’t feel anything.<br/>
<i>I’m not going down that track again.</i></p>
<p>The bell on the main door jingled, signaling someone was coming in. The three amigos strolled in, Hyunjin holding up a bag of Cheetos. Vivi looked at the time.<br/>
“It’s almost nine, what are guys doing here?”<br/>
Hyunjin tossed her the bag.<br/>
“We’re here to rob you. Open the register.” Hyunjin made a gun with her hand.<br/>
Vivi ignored her and turned to Haseul.<br/>
“I thought you had to babysit tonight?” She asked.<br/>
“Something came up, I guess. Haseul said she needed to tell us all in person immediately.”<br/>
“Oh yeah, didn’t you say you have to tell us something that you promised not to tell anyone?” Hyunjin recounted.<br/>
“I did, and I’m serious! You cannot tell anyone about this,” Haseul pleaded.<br/>
“When I went over to her house, there were four cop cars parked outside. I knocked on the door, and Mrs. Im answered and said that she forgot to call and tell me I didn’t need to babysit tonight. Of course I asked if everything was okay, you know, because the cop cars and such. Apparently...”<br/>
Haseul hesitated for a few seconds.<br/>
“Yeojin had watched it happen. She was there when the girl jumped.”<br/>
None of the girls spoke for a moment, letting the words settle on their skin and make their hair rise. Hyunjin was the one to break the silence,<br/>
“So what, they think she’s a suspect now? They think Yeojin is a murderer?!”<br/>
“No, but it does make her the only witness,” Heejin said.<br/>
“Right, which is why the police have been nonstop questioning her since she reported it,” Haseul explained.<br/>
“They’re interrogating a 14 year old who witnessed a suicide? Doesn’t that break any child protective laws?” Hyunjin retorted.<br/>
ViVi shook her head in frustration.<br/>
“Why are they still questioning her? She’s the only witness, shouldn’t they just take all they can get and call it a day?” Vivi said.<br/>
“See that’s the thing; her mom told me that the cops haven’t left because she’s being “difficult”. They think she’s <i>lying!”</i><br/>
Hyunjin pulled a face and shouted, “LYING? HOW?”<br/>
“I don’t know how!” Haseul said exasperated, “They think she’s not telling the whole truth, or that she made it all up or something.”<br/>
“They’re having the wake tomorrow,” Heejin remembered, “Do you think the autopsy results showed it wasn’t a suicide?”<br/>
“That could be it. But then that would mean Yeojin is lying,” ViVi speculated.<br/>
“I feel like there’s a lot of stuff about this case that we don’t know about. I didn’t even know the girl before I heard the news,” Heejin said resting her chin in her hands. Hyunjin patted her head.<br/>
Haseul sighed, “Look, something weird is going on here, but we can’t let anyone else know about this. We’re not gonna stir up a panic right before her wake.”<br/>
The girls all nodded solemnly.<br/>
“This information won’t leave the rink,” Vivi promised.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>you are loved. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Everything will be better on the West Coast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Every time she turns a corner or switches on the light, she’s hopes that Olivia will be there; that this was all a bad dream or a sick prank. Her number is still in her phone, and sometimes Choerry wonders if she will answer. She knows she’s gone. But every part of her still feels like she’s here.</p><p>Or, Lip suggests a plan to help Choerry.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title is from the song ‘Ohio’ by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness (the song doesn’t have anything to do with the chapter, but I still recommend listening to it if you wanna feel sad and sentimental)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4>Friday</h4><p>It had been 4 days since Olivia’s wake. The three decided to meet up at Choerry’s house after school. One, because Choerry had no energy to go anywhere else except her bed after 7 hours at school; and two because her house had the best snacks. Although her siblings are annoying, at least they stock the house with Fruit Roll-Ups. Plus, they’re too scared of Jungeun to bother the girls when they’re visiting. The trio is currently sitting in Choerry’s room, the older two sitting on beanbags on the floor. The room is decorated entirely with purple; something Jungeun usually teases her about, but it didn’t feel right today. Choerry insisted she felt better, had gone through all the stages of grief, and was totally back to normal. But Choerry was a terrible liar. Choerry thought that by going to school for the full week she would be able to distract herself. But the second she’d let her guard down, the realization that her friend was dead came to surface. She can’t escape the thought of her, it’s overwhelming to the point of insanity. Every time she turns a corner or switches on the light, she’s hopes that Olivia will be there; that this was all a bad dream or a sick prank. Her number is still in her phone, and sometimes Choerry wonders if she will answer. She knows she’s gone. But every part of her still feels like she’s here.<br/>
<br/>
“I think we should take a road trip to California,” Jungeun announced, hopping to her feet.<br/>
“Why would we do that?” Jinsoul asked.<br/>
“Well for one, I have Calculus exam next week that I planned on skipping anyways,”<br/>
“And two, because it’d be good for us. You know, the great outdoors; sleeping under the stars, eating at sketchy rest stops, getting a tan-"<br/>
“Don’t you think now isn’t really the time for a self indulgent weekend away?” Jinsoul said raising her eyebrows and nodding her head towards Choerry. The girl was wrapped in a mound of blankets on her bed like a sad caterpillar.<br/>
“Well those were just some of the things I wanted to do! What this trip is really meant to do is get Choerry’s mind off of things for a little while. You know, like sending a kid off to the ranch after they become addicted to video games.”<br/>
“You’re sending me to a ranch in California?” Choerry asked with weakness in her throat.<br/>
“Uh, no! That’s not what I meant!” Jungeun panicked, “What I meant is like a coming of age film sort of thing. We’re left alone with our biggest insecurities and then we bond and stuff.”<br/>
“Nice save.” Jinsoul rolled her eyes.<br/>
“It’s not a bad idea...but I don’t think my parents will let me go,” Choerry moped.<br/>
“Don’t worry, leave it to me and Lip. We’ll say it’s a field trip or spiritual retreat. We’ll come up with something,” Jinsoul assured. Choerry was still doubtful that her parents would allow it, but that’s why the girls will do the whole lying part for her. California doesn’t sound too bad; it’d be nice to get away for a bit. But she doubts her troubles will stay housebound.</p><p>Jungeun and Jinsoul didn’t have to worry about coming up with excuses for their families. Jungeun would be lucky if they even knew she was gone. Her mom worked the night shift at a grocery store and her stepdad got kicked out 4 months ago. She could be gone for days and her mom would just assume she was sleeping over at Jinsoul’s. Her family on the other hand, is an entire other story that is much more complicated. Jinsoul’s father and aunt are currently going head to head in a legal battle over whether her grandmother should be put in a nursing home. Her older sister is long gone; she did two semesters at NYU and decided to become a pyramid scheme saleswomen, (If she slides into your DMs trying to sell you cheap ugly leggings, block her). Her older brother never went to college and lives in the basement. His childhood bedroom was furnished into an office, and plus the basement somewhat contains the weed stench. That left Jinsoul to be the breadwinner. And for a long time she was. Looking at her GPA now you might not have guessed it, but she was a straight A student. Not to mention she also won her elementary school’s talent show with her amateur piano rendition of “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid (yes, that was the peak of her mermaid phase). Fast forward a couple years and Jinsoul is a classic example of The Gifted Child Burnout Syndrome. Some of her teachers would say how they were so “disappointed that such talent had gone to waste”, but Jinsoul never cared to correct them. She knows that she’s smart, and she doesn’t need to prove that to anyone. She just changed how she uses her intelligence. Instead of trying to please her parents, she now uses her brains to come up with elaborate lies to sneak Choerry off to California.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. red lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yves has reoccurring nightmares about Olivia.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4>Saturday</h4>
<p>The lights from the cars on the highway illuminated the blackness of the cool night air. It was late enough that there weren’t many cars, but still enough to count as they passed by. Yves sat by her window and watched the lights blur together as eyelids slowly got heavier and heavier.</p>
<p>She was playing hide and seek in the school as usual. She only needed to find Olivia. She remembers swinging open the heavy double doors, except instead of the room she was expecting, it lead her straight to the woods in the back of the school. Walking into the woods it became nighttime suddenly. Everything was dimly lit by the light of the full moon. She called out for Olivia. A pair of yellow eyes came out of the shadows. It bared it’s sharp teeth and said,<br/>
<i>“Olivia is dead. You killed her, Yves.”</i><br/>
Yves tried to turn back and run towards the school, but the forest seemed to shift. She ran and ran and ran but there was no way out. She sank to the ground in exhaustion, giving up all hope. From behind the trees, there were two red lights. Yves stumbled back into a sprint, running towards what could be her way back home. Yes, the lights from the highway outside her bedroom window is showing her the way home. She ran through the trees getting closer to the glow of the red lights. It was so close. The closer she got, the less they looked like headlights. The less bright they became. Yves slowed her pace as she second guessed her vision. The closer she got, the more it became clear that it was a set of eyes— like the yellow ones. It was too late for Yves to turn back now. The eyes drew closer, and in the low light Yves could make out the image of Olivia.<br/>
<i>“Olivia?”</i>  Yves spoke quietly.<br/>
The figure stepped forward and became illuminated in the moonlight’s spotlight. Yves’s eyes adjusted, and she let out a scream that tore through her throat. She was staring at herself. </p>
<p>Yves bolted up, heart pounding, sweat dripping from her forehead. Her eyes scanned the room quickly. She saw red from the corner of her eye and held her breath. It was just the lights from the highway. Yves exhaled and fell backwards onto her bed. Overwhelmed from what just happened, she began to cry. She heard footsteps from the hallway and quickly wiped her eyes. Her parents burst through the door in their pajamas.<br/>
“What’s going on? We heard you scream, what happened?” Her mom said rushing to her bedside.<br/>
“Nothing, I just had a bad dream.”<br/>
“Again?” Said her dad, trying to hold back a yawn. Her mother’s face was stricken with concern.<br/>
“Maybe I should call Dr. Phong-“<br/>
“No!” Yves interjected.<br/>
“It’s just the events from the past week making me stressed. I’ll be fine next week.”<br/>
Her mom looked doubtful, but it wasn’t worth fighting about it at 2:17 in the morning.<br/>
Long after both her parents had fallen back asleep in their own beds, Yves was laying awake in hers. She drew her curtains back to block out the headlights from the passing cars, but she still couldn’t close her eyes without seeing the red lights. When her need for sleep became too much, she let her eyes close. It had felt like it had only been a second when she snapped awake to the sound of birds chirping.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Um I wrote this last night before I went to bed and I scared myself 😐<br/>Never doing that again!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I fall into you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chuu has plenty of guys who tried courting her. She never payed any attention to them; school was her top priority. Hoping to stay on track for her future plans, she decided to go to an all girls Catholic school. No boys, no distractions. It worked for the most part, until Sophomore year. Chuu didn’t care much about Classic Poetry, but it became her favorite class. She looked forward to going to that class everyday just for the chance to see Yves.</p>
<p>Or, Chuu having a big fat lesbian crush on Yves</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chuu has plenty of guys who tried courting her. She never payed any attention to them; school was her top priority. Hoping to stay on track for her future plans, she decided to go to an all girls Catholic school. No boys, no distractions. It worked for the most part, until Sophomore year. Chuu didn’t care much about Classic Poetry, but it became her favorite class. She looked forward to going to that class everyday just for the chance to see Yves. It was the first time Chuu had become infatuated with someone, and she hadn’t even acknowledged her existence. Yves’ desk was in the middle of the room, while Chuu’s was a row behind and more to the left. She was just far away enough to be able to steal a glimpse at her. Yves almost never noticed since she was always looking to the front or talking to the friends who sat around her. There was this one time that she did catch her staring. Chuu was stuck in a trance, the kind where your eyes just become fixated on something (or someone) and you’re completely aware of it but unable to just look away. After Yves had made eye contact with her and she hadn’t looked away, Chuu thought this would be her downfall. Yves would laugh at her, and then the whole class would notice and then she’d be one of the oddballs again. But Yves made eye contact and smiled at her. It felt like Chuu had been set on fire, her face was as red as the liptint in the front of her bag. She spent the rest of class looking down at her desk with her hair covering her burning ears. It was such a small interaction, a meaningless and forgettable moment. But Chuu could not get her smile out of her head. It was like everything made sense; all of the love songs, the K-dramas, the way her friends would gush about boys at sleepovers. Even the stupid ancient poetry began to make sense. Chuu now understood why Shakespeare would write so many sonnets about one girl— she could write a million and one just from that one small interaction. </p>
<p>Somewhere along the way, Chuu’s priorities shifted. Getting good marks was still important to her, but she could afford to skip class every once in awhile to follow Yves on her little adventures. It’s not like it was hurting anyone. Just some harmless fun that teenage girls do; like sneaking an extra pudding cup at lunch, excusing themselves to go to the “bathroom”, passing notes in class, etc. She had even taught Chuu how to roll the waist band of her skirt so it would look shorter without having to hem it. Yves was a Catholic girl’s savior in terms of breaking the dress code. Chuu had never been friends with the “bad girl” type before, so everything felt new and exciting. </p>
<p>
Pre St. Cecilia’s, Chuu attended a public middle school. She was childhood friends with Kim Jungeun, better known as Kim Lip. The nickname got stuck to her because of her infamous reputation of being a smart-mouthed know-it-all. She was the girl who would correct the teacher, argue with them, and get detention. But she wasn’t bad at all, on the contrary, she just wanted justice and fairness. But this also meant Jungeun was the type to not let you copy her homework and would rat anyone out if she was spiteful enough. She kept Chuu on her toes, and together they really were the best of friends. An odd pair, yes, but Chuu never cares about what people thought of her. Unfortunately, that doesn’t ring true today because she very much cares what Yves thinks of her. Chuu hopes that Yves doesn’t see her as the weird kid, she’d like to say she’s changed since middle school. 
<br/>
The same can’t be said for her old friend Lip; she doesn’t see her much anymore, but from what she’s heard, she’s still weird. She mostly hangs out with a senior, Jinsoul, who Chuu has only heard about through the grapevine. Jinsoul was the girl in elementary school that watched one too many episodes of H2O and then tried to convince everyone she was a mermaid. The WikiHow article did not mention that her childhood phase would follow her to Highschool. The other girl, Choi Yerim, is a freshmen. Although she doesn’t have as tainted of a reputation, she still has a pretty embarrassing origin story. On a sixth grade field trip, Yerim was dared to eat cherries. She hated the taste, but wanted to prove to that snake Haechan that she could do it. And she did, she shoved a handful of cherries in her mouth and tried to swallow them all at once. Then she threw up. She’s been called Choerry ever since. The name was meant to mock her, but Choerry embraced it. The three met in Highschool and have been inseparable since.
</p>
<p>
 Chuu always wanted a friend group like that. She had lots of friends in different places, but none that really knew the real her. She tended to scare them away with her clinginess. Yves didn’t seem to mind, or she hadn’t noticed yet. If Yves were to ever leave her, she’d be completely lost.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>“They seem like very good friends :)”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. If I Believe You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“The term repressed memories refers to the rare psychological phenomenon in which memories of traumatic events may be stored in the unconscious mind and blocked from normal conscious recall.“</p>
<p>[1] "Memories of Childhood Abuse". APA.org. American Psychological Association. Retrieved January 24, 2020.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4>Monday</h4><p>“Choerry’s mom said she’s going to some mental wellness retreat in LA. I don’t believe that for a second. If Choerry really was going to LA, she would’ve told me herself. But she didn’t, because she’s a terrible liar,” Yeojin explained, whacking the low-hanging branches with her stick as they walked. Haseul tried to keep up with her pace, but she stumbled over every rock and root. Yeojin had been in the woods so many times before, she could walk the path with her eyes closed and two left feet.<br/>
“Can we...Can we stop for minute,” Haseul heaved, “I need to...catch my breath.”<br/>
Yeojin reluctantly stopped and turned around. Haseul was bent over with her hands on her knees.<br/>
“You look like you’re in labor,” Yeojin cackled.<br/>
“Shut...up.”<br/>
Once Haseul had started breathing normally again, she straightened her posture.<br/>
“Where are we going anyways?” She asked the younger.<br/>
“Somewhere,” She vaguely replied.<br/>
Yeojin started off walking again, and Haseul swore under her breath as she picked up her pace to follow her.<br/>
Why couldn’t I just babysit a normal kid? One that plays with toys and doesn’t make you feel out of shape.<br/>
Yeojin wishes she was like normal kids, because at least they have fun. Being an only child is bad enough, but when your parents are two real estate agents that work around the clock, you practically live alone. If it weren’t for the housekeepers, Yeojin is sure she would’ve ended up like one of those feral children that hadn’t been socialized. Well, the second part still applies to her. She’s also homeschooled by a private tutor five days a week. She used to have a piano teacher come every Wednesday and Saturday, but he quit after Yeojin had “disrespected the arts” by trying to play with her feet. So Yeojin grew up with no siblings, no classmates, and virtually no parents. She had to learn how to entertain herself, which usually meant getting into trouble. This is where Haseul comes in. When she was hired to babysit a practically teenaged girl, she didn’t think to ask any questions that might offend the parents. She just took the job and assumed that Yeojin would be a typical teenager who slammed her bedroom door on her face and wanted nothing to do with Haseul. But instead, she got stuck with a gremlin who doesn’t give her an ounce of respect. Five days a week after school, Haseul would babysit and leave feeling like she just spent time with her cousins at a family event. Yeojin annoyed the hell out of her sometimes, most of the time really, but she can’t imagine quitting. Even though she won’t admit it, Yeojin is lonely. So lonely that her first real friend is someone her parents hired. Anyone could see that deep down Yeojin really looks up to Haseul.<br/>
“We’re here!” Yeojin announced.<br/>
Haseul was quite a ways behind her, out of breath again. When she made it to where Yeojin was standing, she could’ve passed out at the sight. They were near the old diving tower behind St. Cecilia’s.<br/>
“Yeojin...what? Why did you bring me here?” Haseul asked, trying to peel her eyes off of the looming tower. She’d never seen a diving tower up close, and holy shit this thing is tall. It made her queasy just by looking at the highest platform.<br/>
“I wanted to show you where I was the other day when you didn’t babysit,” she replied simply, walking towards the chain link fence.<br/>
“So...you watched it all happen? Here?” Haseul asked hesitantly.<br/>
“Yeah, kinda. I couldn’t really see from here, the sun was in my eyes and stuff,” Yeojin responded, without turning to face Haseul. She had her eyes glued to the top platform.<br/>
“You weren’t the one to...” Haseul started, but hesitated to ask such a heavy question.<br/>
“Push her? No, I couldn’t even get passed the fence, it was chained up,” she said again, with no emotion. The fence she was referring to was now covered in yellow caution tape. The pool was evidently still a crime scene.<br/>
Haseul shook her head and stumbled on her words, sputtering, “No- What I meant- I meant was...you didn’t find her...body, right?”<br/>
Yeojin turned her head ever so slightly, but not enough to look back at Haseul.<br/>
“No, I didn’t.”<br/>
Haseul exhaled in relief, but still felt prickled with anxiety. She was about to ask Yeojin if they could leave already, when she faced her.<br/>
“Do you believe me?” Yeojin asked, her eyes soft.<br/>
“About what?”<br/>
“About the girl. I really didn’t see anyone else up there or in the woods that day,” Yeojin said, her eyes beginning to water.<br/>
Haseul rushed to go comfort her.<br/>
“Of course I believe you! I know you’d never lie about something this serious,” She reassured.<br/>
“Who thinks you’re lying?” Haseul asked, pretending to be blind to the whole police questioning incident.<br/>
“The police...my parents...the creepy child psychologist. They think...I’m too traumatized to recall certain events...that I’m forgetting something,” she sniffled. “But I know what I saw! I’m not lying!” She cried out again. Haseul held her close, rubbing circles into her back to calm her down.<br/>
“I know. I believe you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Starlight Motel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 1 of the odd girls’ road trip to LA. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also me flexing my music taste.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m sorry this took so long, I feel like I haven’t updated in forever. This chapter took me longer to write, I had some writer’s block but I’m really liking how the LA trip is gonna turn out! Very fun stuff ahead I’ll tell you that :D</p>
<p>p.s I made a short lil Good Vibes playlist, see the notes at the end &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4>Monday</h4><p>“Ready?”Jinsoul asked.<br/>
Choerry looked away from the sky and nodded, picking her bags off the ground and hauling them over to the bed of the truck. Jungeun’s truck was technically her father’s, but he hasn’t taken it back yet. It’s a 2009 model, so it’s got quite a few miles on it, but it gets the job done. It’s only a hassle in the winter, but there’s no snow in LA so that won’t be a problem. The main reason why they chose to take Jungeun’s truck is because the bed of it is large enough to hold all of their camping supplies. The second reason is because Jinsoul’s brother’s car is used as a hotbox. Neither of the older girls have ever been camping, but Choerry’s family is one of those types. They all got their matching set of gear, Choerry’s being purple of course, and they take a picture on top of a  mountain to put on their Christmas card. It’s all foreign to Jungeun especially since she has no siblings and no experience with family vacations. So Choerry just told them what to pack and brought anything they didn’t have. Choerry’s parents were fine with it of course; as far as they were concerned, Choerry would be spending the week “healing with nature” on some group therapy retreat. The phony brochure that Jinsoul made seemed legit enough. The brochure technically wasn’t fake, it was just tweaked to fit the narrative. All Jinsoul did was change a few words here and there, swap out some dates and voila! A fake grieving workshop curated by a real organization. As long as no one goes to their website and finds out they’re based in Canada then they’ll be fine. Choerry’s parents had other priorities than fact checking a legitimate looking piece of paper. Jinsoul’s mom definitely bought it, not that it was hard to fool her. She didn’t even know she was failing all her classes until this year! Jungeun didn’t even bother explaining to her mom in detail about where they were going because she wouldn’t believe her anyways. She left a note on the fridge in case she forgot she wasn’t going to be home to take the chicken out of the freezer.</p>
<p>Once everything was loaded into the truck, the girls got in. Jinsoul didn’t have to fight to get shotgun because Choerry already made up her mind about not wanting to talk on the way there. Jungeun turned on the engine and the vehicle started making asthmatic coughs. This, according to Jungeun, was completely normal and not a problem at all. They lurched out of Choerry’s driveway and gave one more honk to her parents, who were waving out the front door. Finally on the road, Jinsoul began chanting “L.A”, but stopped after nobody joined her.</p>
<p>Choerry spent the majority of the drive resting her head against the window melancholically. Her eyes followed the white line indicating the shoulder of the road. She was in a dizzying trance, her mind running in circles, only occasionally interrupted by the two in the front seats.<br/>
Jinsoul said to Jungeun, “Get your emo shit out of here, this is a good vibes only playlist!”<br/>
“Danger Days is a good album and it has good vibes! And it’s my car so I get to pick the music!” She retorted, turning up the volume to drown out Jinsoul’s protests.<br/>
That was the last time Choerry had payed attention to their conversation. She was more invested in the music playing than whatever they were bickering about. Choerry let the music carry her to another place, somewhere between a dream and a memory. She heard the lyrics fade out as she fell asleep.</p>
<p>Before she had completely woken up, someone was shaking her arm and asking her something.<br/>
“What?” Choerry murmured out, slowly blinking her eyes open.<br/>
Jinsoul repeated, “We’re stopping to get gas. Do you want anything to eat?”<br/>
Choerry shook her head ‘no’ while stretching out her limbs. Jungeun pulled up to the gas pump and put it in park.<br/>
“I’ll pump, you get the snacks,” She said unbuckling her seatbelt.<br/>
“Aye Aye, Captain. Choerry, do you want to come in with me?” Jinsoul asked, twisting her body to look at her from the passenger’s side.<br/>
Jungeun and Jinsoul were both looking at her, and it became abundantly clear that they were suggesting she go in.<br/>
“Sure. I need to stretch my legs anyways.”<br/>
Jinsoul beamed and hopped out of the vehicle. She then opened the door on Choerry’s side and bowed with her arm extended. She really wanted to laugh but she could only give a halfhearted smile. Even though she slept for the majority of the drive, she still felt tired. Too tired to even laugh, or smile. Too tired to enjoy the presence of her friends. Too tired to care anymore.<br/>
The bell on the door dinged as they walked into the mini mart. It was quiet, except from the zapping of bugs flying into the overhead lights. The guy behind the counter hardly gave notice to them coming in.<br/>
“Aright, so Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos?” Jinsoul asked, holding up two bags. Choerry snapped out of her trance to respond.<br/>
“Uh, I think we’re going to need to eat more than two bags of Doritos for the remainder of the trip.”<br/>
Jinsoul nodded, “You’re right. We’ll get these AND the Spicy Sweet Chili.”</p>
<p>By the time the girls were on the road again, it was late afternoon. They didn’t plan on stopping until they reached a motel just on the border of California. They planned to only stay one night at the motel, and leaving early in the morning to drive to LA. Once they made it to LA, they’d spend a few nights at a camping ground. It took a bit of convincing to get Jungeun on board; she isn’t particularly fond of bugs or nature in general. But Jinsoul reminded her that the three High School students couldn’t even afford to have their own Netflix accounts, let alone spend $50 per night at a sketchy motel. Choerry helped them compromise on two nights at a motel, for the trip there and back, and camping for the nights spent in LA. It’s amazing how the youngest manages to be the voice of reason in almost every situation. </p>
<p>☆★☆</p>
<p>It looked exactly how you’d imagine a cheap motel would look. The parking lot was near empty, minus the few people standing on the balcony having a smoke. The gravel crackled as they pulled into the only parking spot without a piece of litter.<br/>
“Are you sure about this?” Lip asked wearily.<br/>
“It’s just a little outdated,” Jinsoul said with a wave of her hand. “Like your truck. It’s a little rough around the edges but in a charming way!”<br/>
The girls in the front seat turned towards Choerry, waiting for her to put in her two cents. Now would be the perfect time to crack a joke to lighten the mood. But Choerry couldn’t find it in her to give more than a shrug.<br/>
Jungeun broke the silence with a sigh, “Alright, let’s just go in. Choerry, stay close and don’t inhale too deeply.”<br/>
Their shoes crunched the gravel and cigarette butts. They entered through the motel’s main door and right off the bat were introduced to the lady at the front desk. She was in her late 40s maybe, and her name tag said ‘Bev’. The three of them stood in front of the desk and waited for her to look up from her newspaper. Jungeun’s impatience kicked in and she dinged the bell on the desk. The lady looked up, squinting her eyes at Jungeun.<br/>
“Can I help you?” She leered in a scratchy voice.<br/>
Choerry subconsciously hid herself behind Jinsoul more.<br/>
“Yes, we’d like a room, please,” Jungeun said in her best customer service voice.<br/>
Bev side eyed Choerry.<br/>
“There’s only two beds per room, you know that, right?”<br/>
“We sleep with each other all the time, it won’t be a problem!” Jinsoul said confidently. Choerry’s eyes widened and Lip internally face palmed.<br/>
“What she meant is, we’re fine with doubling up on a single bed,” Choerry explained.<br/>
The lady looked them up and down, raising an eyebrow. Then, she grabbed a room key off the hook and tossed it to Jinsoul.<br/>
“Here’s your key. No, we don’t have extra towels. Enjoy your stay at the Starlight Motel.”</p>
<p>The girls walked down the dimly lit hallway until they were standing in front of room twelve. The door unlocked easily, a little <i>too</i> easily for Jungeun’s liking. The room wasn’t all that bad; there were two queen beds, an old box tv, and a wooden desk with a single lamp on it. The room’s decor was seriously outdated; the bedding was a weird mush of floral. The wallpaper was this gross yellowish color that was only saturated by the warm glow of the desk lamp. But it would make do for the night.  Jungeun insisted that they should push the two beds together and have the three of them sleep across it horizontally so no one falls through the gap. Jinsoul teased that this was just her way of getting to cuddle them. Jungeun then threatened to make her sleep in the car.<br/>
“Oh, the car!” Jinsoul gasped, “We gotta get our clothes and stuff from the car.”<br/>
“I’ll come with you, I don’t want you to get mugged,” Lip said.<br/>
She turned to look at Choerry, who was peering through the blinds in the window on the opposite side of the room.<br/>
“Choerry, you stay here with the door locked. You can take a shower if you’d like, Jinsoul and I will take one later.”<br/>
“Like together or?” Jinsoul suggested before getting cursed at and smacked.<br/>
This earned them another weird look from the Bev, who was eavesdropping from the front desk.<br/>
When they made it to the truck, Jungeun said, “So are we going to talk about it?”<br/>
“What? The shower thing? Lippie, it was a joke. I’ve seen you naked before anyways, I don’t see why-“<br/>
“No! Choerry. She hasn’t been her self this entire time. What do we do?”<br/>
Jinsoul pulled Choerry’s backpack from the backseat and put it on one shoulder and her own bag on the other.<br/>
“Choerry will talk to us when she’s ready. All we can do is be there for her,” Jinsoul assured. Jungeun took her bag and slung it over her back, kicking the truck door shut and locking it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Jinsoul’s Good Vibes playlist</p>
<p>1. Ohio Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness<br/>2. Summertime MCR<br/>3. Rollercoaster Bleachers<br/>4. RED The Rose<br/>5. Honey Magic Man<br/>6. Home Islandis<br/>7. Perfect Places Lorde<br/>8. High Waisted Shorts Emily’s Army<br/>9. Anna Sun The Griswolds<br/>10. On Hold The xx<br/>11. Cherry Luna Shadows<br/>12. Travel BOL4</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I see you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gowon is trying to be as invisible as possible. Yves and Chuu keep following her, but not for the reason she had thought.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Finally, it’s Gowon’s turn 🦋 Keep in mind this is kind of a flashback, it’s not in the present— you’ll figure it out, I’m just making it more confusing sorry 🤕</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gowon was not rich. Her family was rich, but she had nothing to do with it and wanted to keep it that way. No, she wasn’t ashamed of her privilege; she just preferred to hide it. It didn’t need to be broadcasted to the entire world that her family has deep pockets. Going around and saying stuff like that will only make her look worse. She was already being accused of having an automatic admission into St. Cecilia’s. Way before Gowon was born, her Great Grandfather had granted the school a large sum of money so they could afford to expand the campus size. He had a few connections, and managed to work out a deal with the property owners of the woods behind the school. Her Great Grandfather then funded the building of the school’s Olympic diving pool. At the time, St. Cecilia’s didn’t even have a diving team, but it was all just to one-up Hiland High. Her Grandfather was a champion on St. Cecilia’s first diving team, and yes, it is incredibly uncomfortable to have seen a picture of your Grandfather in a speed-o behind the glass trophy cases in the hallway. Additionally, her father is also an alumnus of St. Cecilia’s. Gowon, who is not athletic or much of a social butterfly, just wants to be normal. All she wants to do is get through High school without leaving footprints. No plaques with her name on it, no honor roll, no trace of her ever being a student at this school. She slipped through the cracks in Freshmen year; only recognized a couple of times. Sophomore year she planned to stay in the shadows again, but Yves had ripped open the blinds. Her and her lovesick puppy had an obsession with trying to recruit Gowon. They would wait for her after class. Gowon couldn’t even go to the bathroom to fix her hair without one of them randomly showing up. When she finally confronted them and asked them why they were stalking her, Yves revealed her intentions.<br/>
<i> “I see myself in you. Chuu and I meet up in the woods behind the school during fifth period on Mondays and Fridays. You should join us there sometime.” </i><br/>
They just left after that, and Gowon stood in front of the bathroom mirrors, wondering what Yves had seen in her. Gowon had had her fair share of “friends” who only cared about her wealth, so of course she was suspicious. Gowon’s instincts told her to stay as far away from Yves as possible, but there was a lingering desire to know what Yves had meant. The following days at school were heavy on Gowon’s shoulders. She was expecting to be harassed by the two of them and berated with questions about why she didn’t meet up with them yet. But they hadn’t said a word to her since she confronted them. It’s like they were waiting for her to take the bait. Monday of the next week, Gowon bit. Instead of going to class, she walked aimlessly through the hallway. She assumed they weren’t stupid enough to escape through the main exits, but where else would they go? As Gowon went against the current of students trying to make it to their next class, she spotted Yves. She was putting her books in her locker while Chuu was chatting to her. Gowon had a moment of panic and decided that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Unfortunately, it was too late for second guessing because Chuu had already spotted her and was excitedly waving her hand to signal her over.<br/>
“You made it!” she grinned.<br/>
Gowon could only give an awkward fake laugh, which prompted a real laugh from Yves.<br/>
“Let’s go before Chuu scares you off,” she taunted.<br/>
Yves led them down the hall to the library. The library was nearly deserted, except for the librarian of course, but it was still debated whether she was “just sleeping”. The place reeks of that old book smell, and not the good kind; the musty attic type that makes your nose tingle. Behind the Science-Fiction section, there’s an emergency fire exit. It lead straight outside to the garden behind the school. From there, the girls had a straight pathway to the woods. Yves was used to taking this path, she’d done it so many times before that she’s knows exactly where to take off her socks so they don’t get ripped by the thorn bushes. Chuu was now familiar with the route too, but still manages to get poison ivy every now and then. Gowon, who was completely new to this, felt like she was seeing the world for the first time. Skipping class was something so juvenile, but to a girl who’s always done her homework, this was exhilarating. With nothing but pure adrenaline running through her veins, she ran through the forest with two complete strangers. But by God, it’s the only time she truly felt she existed. </p><p>And so it became a routine for the three of them to spend fifth period picking wild flowers in the forest and kicking rocks. Gowon thought that it’d be awkward talking to the two of them since they seemed to be really close. It’s not like she opens up very easily, either. But talking to them was like talking to old friends. There was nothing she could say or do that would surprise them. Sometimes she felt like Yves already knew what she was going to say, like she could read her mind. Eventually, the grounds keeper had discovered their footprints in the dirt, so they had to find a new hangout spot. Gowon was never one to use her privileges to her advantage, but she couldn’t just go back to hiding in the shadows. Not when she had just gotten a taste of the sunlight. </p><p>That is how the uninhabited diving tower came to be the secret hideout for the three girls. The pool had been fenced in and locked up many years ago; finding the key was a hopeless feat. Thankfully, Yves is quick witted and had a plan B already in store.<br/>
“We’ll climb the fence. It can’t be that hard.”<br/>
Yves did not take into account that climbing a fence while wearing a skirt and dress shoes is not the preferred method.<br/>
“Okay, I think if you can wedge your foot in here, you’ll be fine. Who wants to go first?” Yves offered.<br/>
Gowon and Chuu both looked at each other and scoffed.<br/>
“This was your idea so you’re going first,” Gowon corrected.<br/>
“Fine,” Yves grumbled, “But don’t look up my skirt.”<br/>
Gowon side eyed Chuu. </p><p>Climbing over a chain link fence isn’t as easy as they make it look in the movies. But they still made it over so it would do for now. Seeing the drained pool up close put into perspective how deep it really was. The ladder only reached about halfway down, so if you fell in it like this, you wouldn’t be able to climb back up. Plants and weeds had surfaced themselves through the cracked concrete; nature finding its way back to the once unoccupied land. Vines that looked like the roots of the tower snaked up the rusted metal. The ladders to the diving platforms were still intact, though probably not the safest. Yves used her hand to block the sunlight and looked up to the highest diving platform. Up there could be the closest to Heaven she’d ever get. <br/>
“Gowon, this place is perfect,” She smiled.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter is back to the LA trip (ㅅ´ ˘ `)<br/>💌 p.s kudos are greatly appreciated! And I love your comments even tho I don’t know how to respond to them cuz I’m awkward lol 💌</p><p>stay safe, ily, acab, and goodnight!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Salvation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“I’ll take care of you.”</p><p>“It’s rotten work.”</p><p>“Not to me. Not if it’s you.”</p><p>The Oreste by Euripides</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW// mentions of death, grieving, brief  debate on the afterlife/religion. This chapter was particularly hard for me to write. But it was also healing in a sense...You are loved, my friends ♡</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4>Tuesday</h4>

<p>The LA weather was beautiful; not a cloud in the sky, not too hot either. The girls had pulled over to have a celebratory lunch at one of the staples of the West Coast: In &amp; Out.<br/>
“I don’t get it. It’s good, but it’s nothing special.”<br/>
Jungeun put down her burger and reached for her drink.<br/>
“I like their fries,” Jinsoul chimed in.<br/>
Taking a loud sip from her straw, Jungeun looked over to Choerry. She had barely eaten a half of her burger and was absentmindedly stirring her soda with her straw.<br/>
“Is the food that bad?”<br/>
“Hm? Oh, no. I’m just not that hungry,” Choerry responded, only briefly making eye contact.<br/>
“You’re not a good liar,” Jinsoul remarked, pointing a French fry at her.<br/>
Choerry sighed and slumped back in the booth.<br/>
“I’m sorry I’m being such a vibe killer.”<br/>
“Why are you apologizing? We don’t blame you for feeling sad,” Lip said.<br/>
Choerry blinked back the tears welling up. Jinsoul put her arm around around her shoulder in consolation.<br/>
Choerry choked out, “I just thought I’d be better by now. I don’t even know why I’m so sad, I hadn’t spoken to her since last year.”<br/>
Jinsoul spoke quietly against her head, “Even if you two weren’t that close, you still have every right to mourn for her. She was a part of your life, and now that part of you misses her.”<br/>
Choerry sniffled and held tightly onto her. Jungeun and Jinsoul gave each other a wordless look.<br/>
“I’m sorry I cried all over your lunch,” Choerry apologized, dabbing her eyes with a napkin.<br/>
“Nah, soggy fries taste better anyways,”<br/>
Jinsoul joked, dropping a fry into her mouth. That lifted Choerry’s spirit just enough to give a genuine smile.<br/>
“Have you forgotten that we’ve been kicked out of Denny’s before because I “made a scene”?” Jungeun said.<br/>
Now Choerry was giggling from thinking back to the memory of the three of them being escorted out.<br/>
“I’m really lucky I have you as friends,” Choerry confessed suddenly. Her smile immediately sank in despair as another thought had crossed her mind.<br/>
Jungeun asked, “What is it?”<br/>
“Nothing. Let’s just get back in the car,” Choerry answered, nervously stacking the trash on one tray. The other girls obliged with no questions and quickly cleaned their table and left. Choerry was the first one to make it to the car and immediately got in the back seat.<br/>
Jinsoul shot Jungeun a concerned look as they both got in and buckled up.<br/>
“Ladies, where do we want to go next?” Jungeun asked to no one in particular. Choerry looked out of touch with reality, so Jinsoul figured it was up to her. She kicked the glove box open and sifted through documents, napkins, and receipts until she found what she was looking for. She unfolded a giant map of California that she had stashed in there earlier; for an emergency if they were somewhere without a signal.<br/>
“We have Google Maps, you know,” Lip remarked.<br/>
“It’s more fun this way. I’m gonna close my eyes and point and we’ll go there,” Jinsoul explained.<br/>
“Within reason. Gas isn’t free, babe.”<br/>
“Fine,” she surrendered.<br/>
Jinsoul closed her eyes and twirled her finger before stopping it once it hit the paper. She peeked her eyes open and read the location out loud.<br/>
“Salvation Mountain.”<br/>
“What the fuck is that?” Jungeun asked, scrunching her face up and squinting at the map.<br/>
“Language!” Jinsoul scolded.<br/>
“I’m 15, you guys can swear in front of me,” Choerry pointed out.<br/>
“Yeah yeah, but you’re still my baby,” Jinsoul cooed.<br/>
Jungeun visibly cringed and revved up the car.<br/>
“Jinsoul, put your boomer map away and put the location into Google Maps. Ladies, we’re going to Salvation Mountain.”</p><p>Th dust blanketed the road as they sped down the highway. Clay colored mountains molded into one horizon as the radio caught signals from different towers. The inconsistent music and the occasional interruption of fuzzy ghost-like voices coming from the radio was enough to unsettle Choerry. She wished she could just look out the window and let the static fill her brain until she was numb and sedated. What she would give to just go back to feeling nothing again. Now she felt everything.<br/>
<i>It’s my fault. If I could’ve gotten through to her, she’d still be here. If I just would’ve reached out. </i><br/>
She tried squeezing her eyes shut and forcing down the thoughts. It did nothing except burn the image of her lost friend behind her eyelids. She felt her head ache and her fingers go cold.<br/>
“Stop the car!” Choerry demanded.<br/>
“What?! Why?” Jungeun screeched, swerving a little out of the surprise. Luckily, the road was nearly deserted, since they were taking back roads. Jinsoul insisted that the scenic route was worth the mileage.<br/>
“Stop the car, I’m going to throw up!” She yelled.<br/>
Jungeun turned her directional on and shouted back, “OKAY! We’re pulling over!” </p><p>Throwing up on the side of the road is not one of Choerry’s top ten proudest moments. She collapsed on her hands and knees in the dirt and felt like she had emptied her entire body. The worst part is that she hadn’t even eaten that much of a lunch, but her body was just trying to eject something, anything, so it could be empty. Then to make things uglier, she began to cry. Jinsoul, who was holding her hair back, had wrapped her arms around her shaking body. It felt like hours until Choerry could breathe normal. Her throat burned so bad and eyes stung from blinking through tears. The only thing Jinsoul could make sense of were the words “I’m sorry” and “It’s my fault”.<br/>
“Lip, get the napkins from the glove box.”<br/>
Jungeun had been standing by the truck; it was too painful to see her like this. She held it together at the wake, but this— this was watching the happiest person you know being torn to shreds. And she couldn’t do anything to help except for get napkins. </p><p>For the remainder of the drive to Salvation Mountain, Jinsoul sat in the back seat with Choerry. No one talked, and there was only soft music playing from Lip’s phone. Up ahead, there was a bright cluster. It almost looked fake, like it was made out of play dough. It was Salvation Mountain, and it was the most colorful thing for miles in this desert. They parked the car near by and got out to see the mural up close.<br/>
“Now, I’m not all that religious, but that’s the most gosh darn beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Jinsoul declared with a fake Southern accent.<br/>
It was as if Dr. Seuss had written and illustrated the Bible. Rocks were painted with flowers and stripes, and inside the mountain was a colorful cave. The cave walls were painted sky blue with flowers everywhere. Despite having one of the lowest moments of her life a few hours ago, Choerry was now completely in awe by the majesty of this place.<br/>
Jungeun nudged Jinsoul, saying, “Pretty convenient to pick somewhere that would totally pass off as a Healing Retreat field trip. I’m gonna send a few pictures to Choerry’s mom.”<br/>
“I know, I guess I’m pretty smart,” Jinsoul bragged.<br/>
“I watched you hit your head at the cave entrance.”<br/>
Jinsoul reached out to strangle her and Lip put up her hand.<br/>
“Read the room! Literally! This place is covered in “God is Love”. God wouldn’t strangle me,” she pleaded.<br/>
Jinsoul showed her mercy, but only because Choerry was walking over.<br/>
“This place is really cool, but uh...” Choerry hesitated. She saw the Bible verses on the walls and suddenly felt like a million eyes were watching her.<br/>
“Let’s walk around and you can tell us about it, okay?” Jinsoul suggested.<br/>
The three walked side by side on the painted ground.<br/>
“I feel bad. I just feel...wrong.”<br/>
The older girls listened intently, patiently waiting for her to continue. Choerry stared at the monument, eyes locked on a certain part.<br/>
“They say God saves. Olivia went to St. Cecilia’s, she believed in that stuff I think. Why didn’t He save her?” Choerry asked. Her voice was flat, but there was anger between the lines.<br/>
“That’s a loaded question...well, uh, I’m not religious so I might not get this exactly right,” Lip started, “But maybe what you considered to be saved is different than what other people consider to be saved. Sometimes people just...want the pain to stop. So in that case, being saved could mean...going somewhere where there is no pain. Does that make sense?”<br/>
“Yeah, it does. I just feel stupid now because I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I’m just...mad I guess,” Choerry admitted.<br/>
Jinsoul nodded, putting her arm around her shoulder.<br/>
“You’re trying to find someone to blame. It’s normal to want to be angry at God or the world, or even yourself. If something were to happen to either of you I think I’d throw hands with God. Not that I’m that much of a believer either. Religion makes my head hurt, you know? Too much talk about sinning and death. I don’t worry too much about what the afterlife is like; whatever happens, happens. Wherever Olivia is, I’m sure she’s somewhere real nice like this place.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>♡</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. believe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chuu has questions for Vivi about who the real Yves is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yeah it’s been awhile sorry abt that 🥴</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4> Wednesday</h4>
<p>Yves, Chuu and Gowon were seated outside the principal's office. One by one the students were brought in and questioned about their affiliation with Olivia Hye. It was mandatory for all students in the school, as it was now a school wide investigation. The three of them sat on the wooden bench, anxiously waiting for their turn. Yves had her legs crossed, tapping one foot impatiently.<br/>
“This is a waste of time. What else are they looking for? It’s not like we don’t know who killed her,” Yves mumbled.<br/>
Gowon’s head snapped toward her and Chuu’s eyes widened in fear.<br/>
“Could you be any more insensitive?”<br/>
Yves rolled her eyes and rebutted, “Its not like I was friends with her. I mean, I tried, but she chose to be alone and look where that got her.”<br/>
Chuu winced at the implications of her words. She could feel Gowon shift on the other end of the bench.<br/>
“Maybe if you had just left her alone in the first place, we wouldn’t be here,” Gowon reckoned.<br/>
“It’s not my fault!” Yves argued.<br/>
Gowon stood up abruptly and looked down at Yves.<br/>
“Like how it wasn’t your fault that ViVi had to drop out?”<br/>
Yves opened her mouth but not a sound came out. Gowon disappeared down the hallway without turning back. Chuu had been silent up until now.<br/>
“Do...Don’t you ever feel guilty?” Chuu asked carefully.<br/>
Yves now turned to her asking, “About what?”<br/>
Her expression was stone cold, and it made Chuu cower like a dog.<br/>
“Like...we could’ve done something...or stopped her somehow,” Chuu explained, looking down at her shoes.<br/>
“Do I feel guilty?” Yves repeated to herself. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again.<br/>
“No. I feel regret.”<br/>
Chuu tried to make eye contact, but Yves was staring off into space. Expressionless, yet her eyes had a gleam to it.<br/>
“I regret ever meeting her in the first place.”<br/>
The silence hung heavy between them until Yves was called in to testify. Chuu contemplated Yves’ answer, trying to find out what she meant. Had she misheard her? Or was that really what Yves thought about Olivia? She felt an unfamiliar wave of doubt flood her thoughts. </p>
<p>
  <i>Maybe I don’t know her as well as I thought I did.</i>
</p>
<p>She had thought that after stalking her for a year she’d known everything about Yves. What lip tint she uses the most, what her favorite fruit is, when it’s one of those days. If Chuu couldn’t get Yves to open up, then she’d have to go to the only person who knew Yves better than she did.</p>
<p>The bell on the door jingled, and Vivi didn’t bother to look up from her manga.<br/>
“We close in 10 minutes. Come back tomorrow,” She muttered from the front desk.<br/>
“Ah, actually I came here to talk to you.”<br/>
Vivi looked up to see who the sweet voice had belonged to.<br/>
“Hey, I know you. Aren’t you Jiwon?”<br/>
“Jiwoo. But yes, that’s me. Although everyone calls me Chuu,” She said fidgeting in place. She had a high energy aura to her that Vivi could tell she was trying to suppress.<br/>
“Well, what do you want?” Vivi asked, a bit harsher than intended.<br/>
“I need to know about Yves.” </p>
<p>The two were seated at one of the few tables. The “O en” sign was now flipped over, and Vivi had shut off most of the lights except for the neon sign above the front desk and the hanging light right above their table.<br/>
“I remember you,” Vivi recalled.<br/>
“You were that sophomore that had a massive crush on Yves.”<br/>
Chuu’s face flushed red.<br/>
“I did not! You must have me confused with someone else,” She insisted.<br/>
Vivi held back a laugh and quirked her eyebrow.<br/>
“Sure sure. So anyways. Why are you here?” She asked bluntly.<br/>
“Why now? You’ve been friends with her for quite awhile now, so why try to get dirt on her now?”<br/>
Chuu huffed and put her hair behind her ears.<br/>
“It’s not- I’m not trying-,” she stammered, “This isn’t about getting dirt Yves. I just want to know what she was like when you were friends.”<br/>
Vivi slowly nodded and leaned back in her chair.<br/>
“When Yves and I were at St. Cecilia’s together, I was in a situation much like you were. That is until she no longer needed me.”<br/>
Vivi’s face wore a mask of anger and resentment; but through the cracks Chuu could see that she was deeply hurt.<br/>
“It was one of her stupid charades that she had roped me into doing. “Skip class with me and spray paint!”. I didn’t even do anything, I was just the lookout and the can holder. But anyways, Yves failed to mention that if things went south she would let me take the fall for it.”<br/>
“You got caught?” Chuu reaffirmed.<br/>
“Yeah, I got caught. She had just spray painted the cement stairs of the main doors. Nothing graphic; no dicks or anything like that. We just thought it’d be funny to put “Hell” with an arrow pointing to the door. Apparently the administration didn’t get our sense of humor.”<br/>
“How did you get in trouble, but not Yves?”<br/>
“Because she’s a snake!” Vivi snapped before collecting herself again.<br/>
“We were going back to our lockers. I was carrying the spray cans. Yves always thought it was funny to make a girl with asthma run. So she wanted to race back to our lockers. Maybe if I weren’t so competitive, I wouldn’t have gotten so far ahead. A teacher saw me running down the hallway, with spray paint, and put two and two together. Yves heard the teacher yelling, I know she did, the whole school did. That was my last day at St. Cecilia’s. I got my scholarship revoked and got booted into public school.”<br/>
She let out a tired sigh. Chuu gave her a moment of silence before prodding further.<br/>
“So, Yves never got caught?”<br/>
“Yves never got caught because she never confessed. She even thanked me when I was cleaning out my locker. I was in tears, and she was telling me how grateful she was that I took responsibility for something she did. She was running for student council, said that it would’ve gotten her disqualified immediately. I guess that’s somehow worse than me getting expelled,” Vivi scoffed.<br/>
Chuu shook her head, “How could she do that?”<br/>
“I asked myself the same thing. But you know what? I’m glad I got expelled. It was my only hope of ever getting away from her.”<br/>
Chuu waited for her to elaborate. Vivi took a deep breath before continuing.<br/>
“Yves has this habit— no, fixation. She befriends all the weak ones. No offense. I was like you once. Easily swayed by her smile and reassuring words. I’d willingly do anything she asked. Anything to please her. She only likes those types. Only surrounds herself with people who look up to her and think she can do no wrong. Is it sounding familiar yet?”<br/>
Chuu gulped down a knot in her throat. The words were hard to accept as truth, because that would mean Yves was not who she thought she was. She gripped the edge of the table, “What’s your point? Why would she bother hanging around with a loser like me, then?” Chuu jabbed.<br/>
Vivi let out a frustrated sigh and stopped herself from flipping the table over.<br/>
“You wanna know the truth? Yves was a loser. She was a gawky, timid girl who was scared of her own shadow. The Yves you think you know is just a facade.”<br/>
Chuu could hardly believe the words that had come out of Vivi’s mouth. She was too stunned to speak.<br/>
“Yves is too insecure to be by herself so she surrounds herself with people she can easily manipulate.”<br/>
Chuu shook her head, her hair falling out from behind her ears.<br/>
“No, I don’t believe you. Why? Why would Yves do all that?” Chuu asked weakly in a fragile voice.<br/>
“Because she’s a lonely, manipulative, egotistical—“<br/>
Chuu interrupted her, “No, you don’t think that. I know you don’t.”<br/>
Vivi’s eyebrows knit together again, ready to bare her teeth, but immediately surrendered to Chuu’s begging expression. Vivi looked away quickly, hoping the lighting was dim enough to hide the light reflecting from her watery eyes.<br/>
“You’re right. Yves isn’t entirely evil, but that doesn’t mean she gets to take out her pent up emotions on other people.”<br/>
“Do you think she could just be scared of you know...being herself?”<br/>
“Even if she is, that doesn’t excuse her behavior. If she has issues she should get a therapist, not dump it on underclassmen. Maybe she should hang out with the weird girls for a bit and see how bad they’ve got it. They get made fun of for all sorts of things but they never drove someone to suicide.”<br/>
“It’s not her fault!” Chuu shouted, surprising herself and Vivi.<br/>
Once the shock set in, Vivi spoke with eery calmness, “That’s what she told you, didn’t she? That she had nothing to do with it. And I bet she told you that she had nothing to do with me “dropping out”. What makes you so special that she wouldn’t lie straight to your face?”</p>
<p>Admittedly, Vivi felt kinda bad for making Chuu run off in tears. But to be fair, Chuu came to her for the truth, and she delivered. Still, she felt bad for the poor girl. It wasn’t too long ago that Vivi had believed every word that came out of Yves’ mouth. As she turned off the neon sign and locked up, she remembered that corny saying.</p>
<p>
  <i>The devil was once an angel too.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m not an Yves anti I swear</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Moon Rises and I Become You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yeojin is going head to head with adults who don’t believe her, while Haseul is stuck playing the role of The Perfect Daughter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two updates in a week!!! :O<br/>I hope I can get Part 1 done by Loona’s debut date.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4> Thursday</h4><p>“What do you see?”<br/>
“The same exact thing I saw the last 4 times,” Yeojin answered the man.<br/>
He sighed and put down the photo.<br/>
“Yeojin, we can’t help you if you don’t cooperate.”<br/>
“What do you people want from me? I say I saw a girl jump to her death and don’t believe me. I say I saw a frog in your stupid painting and you don’t believe believe me again!” She argued.<br/>
Yeojin crossed her arms and turned her head way from the psychiatrist.<br/>
“We just need to be 100% sure, okay? It’s nothing personal, it’s just standard procedure. I promise we won’t bother you with anymore tests after this. Okay?”<br/>
Yeojin side eyed him, and weighed her options. The sooner she gets this over with, the sooner she can go back to seeing Haseul.<br/>
“Fine,” she said through gritted teeth.<br/>
“Excellent. I only have one last ink blot to show you and then you can go home.”<br/>
He held up the last photo to her eye level.<br/>
Yeojin observed it carefully.<br/>
“Another frog, I assume?” He asked, hovering his pen above the clipboard.<br/>
“No. It’s a butterfly.”</p>
<p>☽★☾</p>
<p>Haseul shoved her foot into her beat up Converses. Tying her hair back into a low and loose bun, she made her way to the front door.<br/>
“Mom, I can finally go see Yeojin, I’ll be back by seven!” She called out.<br/>
She heard her mom’s heels frantically clacking from the kitchen.<br/>
“No no! We’re having guests tonight for dinner,” she exclaimed with a proud smile.<br/>
“What? Who?”<br/>
“You know Mr. and Mrs. Xihan that your father met at Berklee?”<br/>
“No-“<br/>
“They’ll be joining us for dinner and they are looking forward to meeting the very talented violinist that I brag so much about.”<br/>
“Okay, well, I would’ve liked to know about this before I made plans with Yeojin.”<br/>
Mrs. Jo snorted, “Oh honey, she’s 11. I bet she can find kids her own age to play with.”<br/>
Haseul involuntarily grinded her teeth.<br/>
“She’s 13,” Haseul corrected.<br/>
“And if they’re coming over tonight, then why can’t I just stop by for a-“<br/>
“Because I said so. You have to practice before they get here, and God knows you’re not going to be wearing that in front of our guests.”<br/>
Haseul didn’t know if she was more angry or hurt, but she wasn’t staying to find out. She bit her tongue and dropped her shoulders in surrender. She kicked her converse off into the closet and went to her room to change. </p>
<p>If Haseul had to choose between sitting here at this table with these people or taking on 5 bears, she’d choose the latter. Their monotonous snide tone was giving her a migraine. The conversation switches between three subjects primarily; how rich they are, how talented they are, and how humble they are. It’s these types of people that make her want to drive a fork through her hand. But she had to just endure it for tonight. </p>
<p>After they finished eating dinner, the two families migrated to the foyer for some exclusive entertainment. Haseul usually doesn’t like playing in front of people; well, in front of professionals, that is. She could play all the wrong notes in front of her friends and they’ll still think it’s mixtape worthy. Haseul would have never put herself under this kind of pressure, but unfortunately it was her mom who had made the decision for her. In fact, it was her mom’s idea to have her play violin in the first place. </p>
<p>Haseul set up her sheet music, avoiding eye contact with the four adults. They were bantering back and forth about nothing important, but Haseul found it better to not interrupt. It only made sense that the daughter in the background plays the background music. The elders took only a brief notice to her before continuing talking over her playing. Haseul hoped that this meant they wouldn’t be paying close attention to her technique since they were so engrossed in whatever politics they were discussing. But as always, Haseul is put into a comprising situation. She was 3 pages into Vivaldi’s “Winter” when her ears caught the coattails of the conversation.<br/>
“...trust me, it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Mr. Xihan said.<br/>
“Now your daughter is in her 3rd year, correct?” Her father asked.<br/>
“Yes, and she’s just been nominated...”<br/>
Here we go again with the bragging.<br/>
She tuned out of the conversation until she heard her mother’s voice.<br/>
“That’s impressive, tell her I said congratulations! You know, we’ve been looking at a few schools for Haseul. Of course Berklee is on our radar, but we’re also looking at Julliard and a few others.”<br/>
“I can recommend some great safety net schools, you know, just in case,” Mrs. Xihan offered. Maybe her voice didn’t travel well through the music, but Haseul detected some condescension.<br/>
“I don’t doubt Haseul will have any problem getting into an Ivy League,” Mr. Xihan explained, “But those schools up north tend to be...more accepting of all sorts of people.”<br/>
“What do you mean?” Mrs. Jo inquired.<br/>
Haseul kept playing, but was listening to the conversation more than the notes she was playing.<br/>
“Let’s just say we’d never let our daughter go to that liberal of a school. I’ve heard plenty of stories of daughters being sent off to these schools and coming back radical and rebellious,” Mrs. Xihan scoffed, “It’s shameful, really. You send your child off to get higher education and they end up becoming gay.”<br/>
Haseul’s fingers fumbled and made a horrible screeching sound. Someone gasped and she realized that they were all staring at her now.<br/>
“Haseul honey, is everything alright?” Her mother cooed.</p>
<p>
  <i>If it weren’t for our guests, she would’ve told me to start over from the very beginning.</i>
</p>
<p>With her mind racing, she quickly forged and escape plan.<br/>
“Yes. I just remembered that Vivi asked me to call her to help her study tonight...for Chemistry. And Algebra,” she delivered robotically. She couldn’t even be bothered to put her violin back in it’s case, instead just set it down on the piano’s bench. To not be rude, she said her goodbyes and exited before anyone could protest. As she walked up the stairs, she could hear their voices rise again, perhaps continuing the same conversation. She didn’t want to think about what they were saying, what her parents could be saying.<br/>
Haseul felt a bit numb from shock; she knew she wanted to cry, but the tears froze before they could fall.<br/>
<i> Once I leave here, I can finally be myself. I just have to keep up the act for a few more months. </i><br/>
The thought alone made her shiver and feel sick with guilt. She was lying to everyone. Well, almost everyone. Her friends knew, of course. She never planned on telling her parents, but how can she not? One day she’ll want to get married, and her mother who plans weddings for a living will want to plan it.<br/>
<i> I can’t hide forever. One day she’ll have to know. </i><br/>
Haseul stood in front of her vanity mirror, unclipping the pearl necklace she was wearing, the one her mother let her borrow for special occasions. Taking off the matching earrings, she couldn’t help but notice how much she had grown to look like her mother. Everyone says it, but now she’s seeing it for herself. The same long brown hair, sharp nose, and monolids.<br/>
“I am my mother’s daughter,” she whispered to the woman in the mirror.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Resembling you<br/>Tamed to you<br/>Only your girl<br/>The moon rises and I become you<br/>The two of us who were so different<br/>When I see you, my heart feels grim </p>
<p>- Let Me In</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Loonatic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Odd eye circle spends their first night in the great outdoors. Kim Lip realizes her own mortality and fears losing her friends.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h4>Tuesday</h4>

<p>“I’ve never seen this many stars,” Choerry awed.<br/>
“What if it’s all fake? What if it’s just a simulation?” Jinsoul proposed.<br/>
“Shut up!” Kim lip yelled.<br/>
Choerry mumbled out a ‘sorry’ and Jinsoul only laughed.<br/>
The three girls were laying like sardines in the bed of the truck, each snug in their own sleeping bags. It was more comfortable than sleeping on the dirty ground, but Jungeun still couldn’t get settled. Sure, the stars and the crickets were a nice atmosphere, but there was something about sleeping outside that made her feel...uneasy. She couldn’t look at the stars without feeling infinitely smaller. The whole sky was exposed, swallowing up any shred of hope she had to feel like she mattered in this universe. </p><p>Jungeun didn’t like stargazing because it reminded her of how inferior it is to be a human being. Even the people who are rich and famous, who have done good in the world and found their purpose are just small creatures in a vast universe. Stars don’t have a purpose; they live and die. For that, she will always be envious of. Simply existing is not enough. She is not enough. When she dies, the world will still spin on its axel and the stars will still burn in the night sky. </p><p>An owl hooted and started her from her thoughts. The other two were asleep, only shifting slightly from Jungeun’s sudden movement. Letting out a sigh of relief, she laid her head back down and stared back up at the stars. Closing her eyes, she saw the image stained against her eyelids. She was almost asleep when a noise brought her back to lucidity. </p><p>The owl hooted again.</p><p>Jungeun raised her arm to shoot up the finger in any direction, hoping the dumb bird would see it. </p><p>★☆★</p><p>The sun rose in what felt like 5 minutes. Choerry was the first to wake up, opening her eyes and panicking for a half a second when she didn’t see her purple walls. Jinsoul woke up next and looked like she didn’t even know who she was with. All she did was looking around blinking in confusion. Jungeun was the last to wake up, and the most discombobulated upon awakening. She tried to hide in her sleeping bag to get a few more minutes of sleep, but quickly became suffocated by the heat and the lack of oxygen. When Choerry and Jinsoul were already going over what they wanted to do today, she was still processing what had happened the night before. The owl had kept her from getting a good night’s sleep, so she felt like she had only rested on a surface level. </p><p>They planned on hitting the streets today, doing some classic Hollywood Boulevard shopping montage. Without the shopping though because they only had enough money for food and gas. Choerry has to admit that being out in the sun really did make her feel better; the bustling city also kept her mind off things. Jinsoul was a natural at navigating the streets, you’d hardly believe that she’s never been to Cali before. Her bleached blonde hair made her look the part, too. The other blonde, however, was not as fond of maneuvering through crowds of people. It seemed like everyone was trying to elbow her or cough near her. Jungeun was never much of a people person, but this was way out of her comfort zone. When they stopped at a small tourist shop, the kind that sells dumb shirts like ‘I ❤️ Cali’, Jungeun insisted on waiting outside until they were done shopping. Jinsoul raised a brow to this, but she knows better than to interfere with Lip’s tantrums. </p><p>Here’s the funny thing about anger: sometimes you’re so focused on being angry and making sure the world knows you’re angry that you forget <i>why</i> you were even angry in the first place. Jungeun has a tendency to black out in a fit of rage, but when she comes to she doesn’t even remember what she was mad about. A side effect of this habit is pacing back and forth while talking to herself. Doing this in public draws attention, so she opted to just go behind the building where the people on the street couldn’t see her. Behind the building was a view of an underpass. It was vacant, except for weeds and graffiti.<br/>
“If I could skate I’d definitely go here,” she said to herself.<br/>
“Let’s take a look, shall we? They won’t be done for another 20 minutes probably.”<br/>
She stepped over broken bottles, making her way down the hill. The underpass was unfortunately not as cool when walking on foot. The only thing actually interesting was the heroine needles and spray paint. She put her hand up to her eyes to try to block out the sun, but she still couldn’t make out what it said.<br/>
“Fucking astigmatism. I can’t read that from here.”<br/>
Walking toward the graffiti, she noticed how the paint still looked fresh. Without thinking she reached out to touch the paint, only to stop when she realized what it said. In big bold letters, it was written:</p><p>
  <b>the stars won't shine much longer<br/>
we're running out of time </b>
</p><p>It sent a chill down her spine. It looked like something you’d find scrawled in an insane asylum. It didn’t help that it was painted in bright red.<br/>
“What the fuck does that even mean?” She exasperated.<br/>
It was probably just a warning from some doomsday lunatic that lived under a bridge. That seemed plausible enough, so Kim Lip decided it was time to walk away incase whoever wrote that came back. She turned around as inconspicuously as possible and began walking in the direction she came. But she felt the hair on the back of her neck rise and she whipped her head around to see who was stalking her.</p><p>There was nothing there. The underpass was deserted, minus herself. But the paranoid feeling didn’t go away. Someone, somewhere was watching her.</p><p>Looking around once more, she muttered to herself, “Alright, Lip. You’ve seen the horror movies. This is when you should start running.”</p><p>She broke out into a sprint, shoes pounding against the concrete. She wasn’t really the athletic type, but in a life or death situation, she’s Usane Bolt.</p><p>She took a sharp right and booked it for the hill back to level ground. Clambering up the grass hill on her hands and knees, she made it to the top. Wiping the dirt from her hands, she looked back at the overpass one more time. It was still barren. </p><p>Jungeun made her way back to the front of the building, turning the corner and seeing Jinsoul and Choerry looking panicked.<br/>
“Where were you?! You didn’t answer my texts! I thought you were kidnapped!” Jinsoul scolded.<br/>
“Relax, I wasn’t gone that long. I just went for a walk to clear my head,” she objected.<br/>
Jinsoul groaned and tugged Choerry by the wrist.<br/>
“Okay, well next time you go on a walk, let us know!”<br/>
She grabbed Lip’s shoulder and started leading them both down the sidewalk.<br/>
“I’m STARVING, so we’re getting food NOW!”<br/>
Hangry Jinsoul was the worst, so she didn’t protest.<br/>
“Me too,” Choerry piped up.<br/>
“Yeah, I guess I could go for another burger right now,” Jungeun added.<br/>
“Good, because you’re paying,” Jinsoul said with a devious smile. </p><p>★☆★</p><p>“Please try to get some sleep tonight. When you don’t get enough sleep you’re all cranky,” Choerry yawned.<br/>
“I would sleep better if that stupid owl would shut up!” Jungeun yelled into the quiet night.<br/>
The three settled into their sleeping bags, all looking up at the sky. Jungeun grimaced, remembering the words scrawled on the underpass and squeezed her eyes shut.<br/>
<i> the stars won't shine much longer,<br/>
we're running out of time </i><br/>
“What does that even MEAN?” She shouted, making Choerry jump out of her skin.<br/>
“What? What does what mean?” She panicked.<br/>
Jinsoul sat up and Choerry soon did the same.<br/>
“I saw this saying graffitied somewhere and now- it doesn’t matter, it won’t make sense anyways,” Jungeun huffed, flopping over in her sleeping bag to face away from the girls.<br/>
“You know we’re here to listen, even if what you say is complete nonsense. Nothing that comes out of my mouth has any thought put into it, yet you guys still listen!” Jinsoul grinned.<br/>
Jungeun scoffed, “I don’t want to scare you guys.”<br/>
Suddenly, she felt Choerry shimmy up behind her, spooning her from inside her sleeping bag.<br/>
“I’d rather hear the scary stuff than nothing at all. And I’m not moving until you tell us.”<br/>
Jungeun let her stay there for a few minutes, hoping she’d give up or fall asleep. Neither happened, so Jungeun flipped over to face her.<br/>
“Fine, but once I spill, we’re going to sleep and forgetting I ever said anything, got it?” She threatened.<br/>
Choerry wormed her way out of her sleeping bag to sit up and listen attentively.<br/>
“When I went on a walk alone today...I really missed you guys. I think I realized I don’t want to be alone in this world. One day you could be here and the next you’re gone...forever. It terrifies me.”<br/>
“Me too,” Choerry whispered.<br/>
Jungeun felt her eyes well up and blinked the tears away.<br/>
“I’m scared that when you guys go off to college, you’ll move on with your lives and forget about me. I’ll just be some teenager,” Choerry confessed.<br/>
Jinsoul spoke up, “You might not have to worry about that happening so soon. I kinda have something I need to tell you about...”<br/>
Jungeun was sitting up now, looking at her with concern.<br/>
“I might have to repeat my senior year.”<br/>
“You’re kidding,” Jungeun said.<br/>
Jinsoul looked down at her fingers and shook her head.<br/>
“Oh my god, how did that happen?!” Choerry yelped.<br/>
“I thought if I kept a good attendance I’d be able to get by with failing a few classes but I kinda skipped a few times-“<br/>
“A few?” Jungeun questioned.<br/>
“Maybe more than a few...”<br/>
“Well, you could still get your grades up by the way end of the year, right? If you study really hard for your finals you could pass!” Choerry presented enthusiastically. Jungeun looked skeptical, but watched to see Jinsoul’s response.<br/>
“I don’t know if I can do it...I’m just not that good at math or anything really,” Jinsoul sighed.<br/>
“That’s not true. I know it’s not true. You’re smart, you just need to touch up on your skills. I’ll help you study the day we get back home,” Jungeun declared.<br/>
Choerry’s lips were in a tight line, dimples showing, and glancing at Jinsoul, who broke out in laughter.<br/>
“What? I’m not that bad at math!” Jungeun scowled.<br/>
Once she collected herself, Jinsoul responded, “No, you’re not bad at all, it’s just that’s never going to work.”<br/>
Before Jungeun could ask why, Choerry piped up.<br/>
“Everytime you two “study” together, you don’t actually do any studying. Even I know that.”<br/>
Jungeun gave up and sank in her defeat. Choerry pet her head in consolation.<br/>
“Don’t worry, you did have a good point. Why not get a tutor?” Choerry suggested.<br/>
“Uh, ‘cause that’s embarrassing! Besides, who ISN’T failing math?” Jinsoul snorted.<br/>
“You must know at least one person who kinda gets it,” Choerry prodded. </p><p>
  <i> There is, but she doesn’t seem to like me very much. She moved away after the first day. Why would she help me now?</i>
</p><p>“I’ll sleep on it,” Jinsoul mumbled.<br/>
“Good. Let’s start now. Opening up makes me exhausted,” Jungeun complained.<br/>
“Oh boohoo, you showed feelings. Typical Aquarius!” Jinsoul remarked, pulling her sleeping bag up to her chin.<br/>
“Choerry, slap her for me, I can’t reach.”<br/>
“She can’t, we have Gemini solidarity,” Jinsoul purred.<br/>
“That’s not a thing!”<br/>
Even with the girls’ dumb banter, Choerry didn’t mind being stuck in the middle. She was with her two favorite people, under a blanket of constellations on the West Coast. She thought she couldn’t get any closer to happiness than this, but she was proven wrong a few hours later. Choerry woke up sometime in the night and found herself entangled in blonde hair. Jinsoul’s head rested against hers, arm draped across her. Lip was using Choerry’s shoulder as a pillow, whilst also clinging to her arm like a child. Choerry couldn’t move even if she wanted to; she’s pretty sure her arms are numb. The only thing she could do was look up at the stars and thank the universe for this moment right now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The end is near.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>She couldn’t sit through religion class today. Psalms that tell of people who make great sacrifices and always do the right thing. She just wanted to stand up and scream that it wasn’t so easy. No, following the rules is not something Yves does easily.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ha Sooyoung?”<br/>
Yves snapped out of it and stood up from the bench.<br/>
“Yves. I go by Yves, now,” she corrected the police officer.<br/>
“Well then, Yves, it’s time for your questioning.”</p><p>The dean’s office was the nicest room in the building. The police officer pushed the big oak doors open and she stepped in cautiously. There was a chandelier hanging, with biblical paintings on the ceiling.<br/>
“Take a seat, please.”<br/>
Yves bowed to the dean and sat down in the chair in front of her desk. She had never seen the dean up close before, only in the hallways occasionally. You’d figure with Yves’ track record, the dean would be a familiar face by now.<br/>
“Hello Yves. I’m going to ask you a few questions and you’re going to answer them with complete honestly. Got it?”<br/>
Yves nodded, suddenly feeling the room get a little warmer.<br/>
The blonde woman picked up her pen and scribbled something in her notepad.<br/>
“Did you know Olivia Hye?”<br/>
“Yes.”<br/>
“How well did you know her?”<br/>
“She was just a classmate. We were never close.”<br/>
“How would you describe your relationship with Olivia?”<br/>
“Normal? We weren’t really friends so we didn’t have a relationship.”<br/>
“Why’s that?”<br/>
“Why’s what?” Yves rebutted.<br/>
“Why weren’t you friends?” She clarified.<br/>
Yves tried not to roll her eyes when she answered, “We just didn’t get along.”<br/>
The dean wrote something down on her notepad.<br/>
“Did you ever see Olivia hanging out with other girls from the school? Did she ever mention having a boyfriend from another school?”<br/>
Yves thought the questions were ridiculous; it’s not like Yves knew the girl all that well.<br/>
“She never mentioned a boyfriend. We weren’t really close so I don’t know why she would want to. As for friends I don’t really know. She didn’t really have friends at St. Cecilia’s.”<br/>
The silence that followed was a signal for Yves to keep talking. She hesitated, but thought it would look suspicious if she didn’t.<br/>
“She was shy. Quiet. Never participated in class. I tried to be friends with her, I really did, but I guess she likes being alone,” Yves delivered.<br/>
“Obviously not, considering she felt so unwanted that she killed herself,” the dean retaliated.<br/>
The unexpected call out left Yves frozen. The dean scribbled again before setting her pen down.<br/>
“Is there anything else you could tell me about Olivia that could give us an insight on what happened that day?”<br/>
Yves answered a few seconds late, “No, that’s all I know about her.”<br/>
The dean dismissed her from her office, but not before calling her name once again. Yves stopped at the door and turned to face her.<br/>
“Yes?”<br/>
“You never said her name once during this interrogation.”<br/>
Yves felt her grip on the door handle tighten.<br/>
“I’ll let you go now, but just remember that the 9th Commandment states ‘Thou shall not lie’.</p><p>Bent over the sink, Yves looked at her disheveled appearance in the mirror. The bags under her eyes were getting darker and more prominent by the day. She hasn’t gotten more than 3 hours of sleep in 2 days. The nightmares keep coming back, each time more immersive than the last. She can’t sleep, eat, or think without being hijacked by thoughts of Olivia. Maybe it’s from the exhaustion, but Yves started seeing her everywhere. Outside the window in the classroom, out in the street, in her backyard, in the mirror. She’s everywhere, haunting her like a ghost. Gripping the sink’s counter, her breath fogged up the glass in front of her. She lifted a shaky hand to wipe the condensation away. She had to collect herself so she could get back to class. Or before somebody finds her like this. She couldn’t sit through religion class today. Psalms that tell of people who make great sacrifices and always do the right thing. She just wanted to stand up and scream that it wasn’t so easy. No, following the rules is not something Yves does easily. And to think she’d be damned to hell just for that...Yves felt lightheaded again, like she was going to throw up.<br/>
But someone entered the bathroom.<br/>
Yves looked up to see Chuu standing there with the saddest expression on her face. </p><p>Chuu’s bubbly, go-lucky attitude might be the only thing that could cheer her up right now. Yves nearly melted just at the sight of her big doe eyes looking at her with concern.</p><p>“Chuu!” Yves sighed, talking a step towards her.<br/>
But Chuu took a step back.<br/>
“Can you be honest with me just this once?”<br/>
“What?” Yves said stunned.<br/>
“You’ve been lying to everyone, saying that you didn’t have anything to do with Olivia’s death. Tell me the truth.” Chuu repeated tearing up.<br/>
“I...It is the truth, I didn’t have anything to-“<br/>
“You’re lying,” she croaked, “I know you’re lying. You’re such a bad liar for someone who does it all the time.”<br/>
“What do you want me to say?! I wasn’t there at the crime scene!” Yves retaliated.<br/>
“But you were the last one to speak to her. I know you were because I waited for you in the hallway. You said something to her and then left and we went mini golfing.”<br/>
“How do you even remember that?” Yves questioned.<br/>
“Because it was one of the best days of my life! And it ended up being the worst day of Olivia’s! All because of you!” Chuu accused, now crying. Yves opened her mouth to speak, but Chuu cut her off.<br/>
“Don’t you DARE say this isn’t your fault! Whatever you said to Olivia pushed her over the edge and you’re lying about it. You killed her.”<br/>
Yves froze at those harsh words, nearly collapsing from holding her breath. Chuu ran out of the bathroom crying, and Yves was left completely alone.</p><p>
  <i>The 6th Commandment: Thou shall not kill. </i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Dancing in the Moonlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The final installment of Odd Eye Circle’s California trip.</p><p>Choerry sees a mirage, Jinsoul gets a sugar daddy, and Jungeun gets a sign.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There’s only a few more chapters left to write...I’m still deciding whether or not to split this into two books. I kinda wanna leave this on a cliffhanger heehee 😈 </p><p>Anyways, I want to take a moment to appreciate everyone who has been reading and commenting and giving Kudos; it really means a lot to me and encourages me to write more ♡( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ ）</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Jinsoul, get out of the slide, the kids want to use it!” Lip said smacking the tunnel. Jinsoul slid out with her hair sticking straight up from the static. From the swings, Choerry pointed and laughed.<br/>
“It’s too hot to be in the sun. Let’s go somewhere indoors,” Jinsoul complained. The two blondes joined Choerry on the swings.<br/>
“Where are we gonna go?” Jungeun asked.<br/>
“I dunno, maybe a museum or an aquarium! Oh please can we go to an aquarium!” Jinsoul begged.<br/>
“The price of admission would wipe us clean of cash,” Jungeun pointed out.<br/>
Jinsoul kicked the wood chips beneath them.<br/>
“I’m getting kinda hungry,” Choerry moped.<br/>
“I don’t know if I can do another day of eating fast food. The grease is making me breakout,” Jinsoul added.<br/>
Jungeun sighed, “It’s not like we have any other options.”<br/>
They trudged out of the park, Choerry being the last one. Turning to close the gate, something caught her eye on the playground.<br/>
“Choerry, let’s gooo it’s too hot to be standing out in the sun like this,” Jinsoul whined.<br/>
“Coming. I think the heat is getting to me. I thought I just saw myself over there.”<br/>
“Well, ask her if she knows where to get some cheap street food,” Jungeun said sarcastically.<br/>
“Ha ha,” Choerry delivered flatly.<br/>
She still glanced over her shoulder once more before the park was out of view. </p><p>Sometimes the fate of the moon is dependent on the tides of the earth. The three girls who took a chance on going to LA will fall upon something else by chance. Three girls walking aimlessly around town looking for a cheap place to buy food (that won’t give them food poisoning). Three girls taking a wrong turn by chance and ending up in an alleyway that leads to a door that is propped open with a bag of sand. Two girls convincing one girl it is technically not trespassing, since there is no sign saying so. Three girls linking arms and entering the unknown building complex. The universe has lead them through the back stage of some sort of gala event. They snuck through the bustling kitchen unnoticed and into the main dining area.<br/>
“Wow,” Jinsoul said breathlessly.</p><p>It was like walking into the set of The Great Gatsby. From the ceiling, sparkling chandeliers rained down on a glossy dance floor filled with people dressed to the nines. </p><p>“I feel a little underdressed...” Jungeun remarked, looking down at her Converses.<br/>
“Just act natural, ladies!” Jinsoul nudged.<br/>
“How are we supposed to do that when we look like this?!” Choerry panicked.<br/>
“Look, we don’t have to stay long,” Jungeun explained, “We’re going to stuff our faces and get the hell out.”<br/>
They headed over to the food tables as inconspicuously as possible. Jinsoul went straight for the desserts table, while Jungeun and Choerry gravitated towards actual meals.</p><p>It was meant to be an in and out heist, but they got sidetracked. Choerry and Jungeun had to make fools of themselves on the dance floor; Jungeun assured her that none of these people would ever see them again. And just for a moment, Choerry forgot that she was out of place here. It didn’t matter to her as long as she was with her other out of place friends. </p><p>Before they could get kicked off the dance floor, Jungeun decided it was time for them to go. They waited in the corner of the room where they first came in. Standing on her tippy toes, Choerry scanned the party, trying to spot a bleach blonde head.<br/>
“Here she comes!”<br/>
“Where were you?” Jungeun scolded.<br/>
“I was playing Cinderella for a bit,” Jinsoul smiled cheekily.<br/>
She handed a slice of cake with a cherry on top to Choerry, who made a noise of disgust.<br/>
“You got caught up with a California boy?” Jungeun snorted.<br/>
“Even better! I got a sugar daddy!”<br/>
Choerry nearly dropped her cake.<br/>
“What?!” Jungeun winced.<br/>
“This old dude was like ‘hey is that your natural hair color’ and I was like ‘wouldn’t you like to know.’ He thought it was funny and we got talking and he thinks I’m some kind of alternative fashion expert that purposely showed up in double denim to “make a statement”. So he gave me his card!” She held the piece of card stock up between her fingers.<br/>
“Great. You got your college tuition, now let’s go!” Jungeun hissed.<br/>
They snuck out the same way they came in, too afraid to be stopped by the greeters at the main entrance. It was dusk now, and the sun was slowly burning out the last of its warmth. They started retracing their steps down the cracked sidewalks. Choerry looked down at the plate she was holding. Out of curiosity, she plucked it off the top and examined it. She swallowed her fear and decided to just go for it.<br/>
“Woah...You snuck into a private banquet and ate your number one most hated fruit. You’re a changed woman!” Jinsoul cheered.<br/>
Even Jungeun was fighting back a smile as she said, “Or we’re just bad influences on her.”</p><p>☼</p><p>The sun finally disappeared and was replaced by a waning crescent. Once again, the stars took over the sky. Laying snug in their sleeping bags, no one spoke a word. It was the tranquility that you could only dream about experiencing. The serenity was sliced by an owl hooting.<br/>
“Why do I feel like he’s doing it on purpose?” Lip grumbled.<br/>
“Maybe it’s a sign,” Jinsoul wondered.<br/>
“A sign for what?”<br/>
“I dunno, it’s not my sign!”<br/>
“I hope it’s a sign of good luck!” Choerry chimed in.<br/>
“Yeah, we’re going to need it for the long drive tomorrow,” Jungeun yawned.<br/>
Choerry’s smile fell as she remembered that tonight was their last night camping.<br/>
Her weak voice broke the silence when she asked, “What will happen when we get home?”<br/>
“What do you mean?” Jungeun asked.<br/>
“When we go home, I have to go back to my life. To school. To the way things were before we came here. What if I get sad again?”<br/>
“Choerry, we took you out here to get your mind off things for awhile. To show you that there are still wonderful places you can visit. And I’m sorry to tell you this but...your struggles don’t have a postal code. You bring them everywhere you go. It will be hard going home after we had so much fun here but it won’t last forever.”<br/>
“Jinsoul’s right,” Jungeun added.<br/>
“You can’t run from this. It’s not healthy.”<br/>
“No one wants me around if I’m depressed. I’m supposed to be the positive one, the one who’s always smiling. I don’t think I can be her yet...” Choerry admitted.<br/>
“We don’t expect you to,” Jinsoul spoke softly, “You can’t be happy all the time. You’re a human being. You’re allowed to feel sad and upset and mourn. And we’re going to be there with you, even if you are depressed and not smiling.”<br/>
“Really?”<br/>
Jungeun answered, “Of course. We love you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Swan Song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><b> Swan Song</b><br/><i>noun</i><br/>a person's final public performance or professional activity before retirement.</p><p> <br/>The enigma that was Olivia Hye walked the corridors alone and in deafening silence; not even her heels made a sound. The aura that surrounded her was a dull grey. Yves’ biggest fault is ever believing she could tame her. And in the end, that’s what ultimately killed her.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Bullying, angsty descriptions? Idk just be aware that this is kinda heavy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s moments like these where the bathroom floor feels especially cold. At 1:07 in the morning, Yves woke up from another nightmare. They seem to be getting more gruesome each time. This time, it sent Yves into a panic to run to the bathroom and wash her hands. She rested her forehead on her knees and tried to forget about it. </p><p>The way the swan’s neck snapped in her hands. </p><p>Yves bit her knee trying to mute herself as tears streamed down her face. She didn’t want to wake her parents up and get them worried. It was just a dream. She didn’t actually kill it. There was no actual blood on her hands. Yet, Yves ran to the bathroom and scrubbed her hands in a panic. All she could do was watch her hands under the running water because she was too scared to look in the mirror. She was too scared to see her standing there again. So instead she sunk to the floor with her back against the door.</p><p>Although Yves did not kill the swan, she still feels the blood between her fingers. She feels the guilt that she tried so hard to euthanize. The constant swimming of sharks in her gut that makes her throw up her food when she’s starving. The stinging in her eyes when she forces them to stay open. She can no longer run from what she’s known from the start: she is to blame. </p><p>Only a day after her interrogation in the dean’s office, Yves returns to finally tell the full story. The dean looked not at all surprised by this decision, rather suspicious that she’d actually tell the truth.<br/>
“So. Let’s start this from the beginning, shall we?” The dean clicked her pen and got her notepad ready.<br/>
“How would you describe your relationship with Olivia Hye?”</p><p>Olivia was a freshmen that transferred in a few months late. While all the other freshmen had made friends by now, Olivia was left by herself. The thing that set her apart though was that she didn’t seem to mind. In gym class, she was always the last to be picked and the first to be out. She ate her lunch alone in the library. And most importantly, she insisted on working alone in school projects. Before Yves had even seen her, she had heard the story of the newbie who refused to work in a group. She didn’t budge even when the scariest English professor threatened to send her to the office. To say the least, Olivia earned a reputation for being pretty intimidating. Yves remembered being so excited to finally meet someone who hated authority just as much as her. The enigma that was Olivia Hye walked the corridors alone and in deafening silence; not even her heels made a sound. The aura that surrounded her was a dull grey. Yves’ biggest fault is ever believing she could tame her. And in the end, that’s what ultimately killed her. </p><p>There was no one in the library except Olivia, not even the librarian who had left to “get something from the printer” two hours ago. She relished in the peace and quiet, focusing her attention on her schoolwork. She had a lot of work to catch up on, but she didn’t mind because it gave her an excuse to not be socializing.  Olivia was more introverted than most kids; she preferred to play alone in the sandbox and didn’t really care for birthday parties. Of course her parents had moments of concern, they thought she was undiagnosed with something that made her act like that. But it was never serious enough to be a problem. Olivia had a few close friends throughout her school years and she never asked for anything more. Some of her friends went off to different high schools so naturally they drifted apart. When Olivia enrolled half way through the semester at St. Cecilia’s, she knew the odds of finding a solid friend group were slim. Consequently, she decided to focus on her studies and completely abandon the idea of upholding a social life. Up until Yves, of course...</p><p>
  <i> Thunk.</i>
</p><p>Olivia looked up to see a red apple placed in front of her. A girl pulled out a chair across from her and sat down. Olivia looked up at the girl smiling warmly at her and blinked a couple of times to show how unamused she was. Either she didn’t get the message, or she was ignoring it.<br/>
“Sorry to interrupt you, but I thought I might make a friendly gesture and introduce myself. I’m Yves,” she announced with pride. As to not be rude, Olivia gave a tight lipped smile and nod.<br/>
“You know you don’t have to eat lunch in the library alone. You’re welcome to join me, Gowon, and Chuu.”<br/>
“Thanks, but I like eating alone,” Olivia declined, getting back to her work.<br/>
“Okay...Well, during 5th period on Wednesday we’re going out to the woods. You should join us, it’ll be fun!” Yves urged.<br/>
“Um, no. I have class then,” Olivia answered dryly.<br/>
“I know...that’s the point. We’re skipping.”<br/>
While still writing, Olivia rebuked, “That’s kind of stupid don’t you think? Having your parents spend all this money for you to go to a nice school and you just not going?”<br/>
Yves’ inviting composure turned stiff and she looked annoyed.<br/>
“Forget it. Don’t come. Why bother coming to school if you want to be alone all the time?”<br/>
Yves stormed out of the library, completely forgetting her apple on the table.</p><p>Olivia’s rejection of Yves’ offer sparked some unknown fire in Yves’ mind. The rejection burned her like a peasant refusing help from a noble. The God complex Yves fostered felt wronged by her refusal to bow down and pray. The missionary Yves had been carrying out for all of High School was coming to an end. Yves had unknowingly held herself as a saint for doing the charitable act of befriending the damned. First with Vivi, a poor foreigner. Then with Chuu, a girl who could easily be mislead by false idols. Soon after it was Gowon, a girl so determined to alienate herself from her wealth that she avoids the spotlight like it will burn her. From the moment Yves heard about Olivia, she had her plans to convert her. Yves had greatly underestimated the size of her prey, not realizing until she saw her breaking through the cage and gnawing it’s own foot off to escape the trap. It terrified Yves to have completely missed the mark on the most dangerous of the four of them. Vivi had escaped, but she was too wounded, too passive to ever seek revenge. Yves made the assumption that if Olivia was cornered, she’d have nowhere to run. </p><p>She bit instead.</p><p>Olivia took her books from her locker and when she turned around she was greeted by the devil herself.<br/>
“What do you want from me?” She groaned.<br/>
Yves smiled slightly, but her eyes were narrow and threatening.<br/>
“I have a proposition for you. We have Music Theory together. There’s a group oral presentation coming up and me and the other girls want you to join us.”<br/>
“Why would I want to do that?”<br/>
Yves clicked her tongue, “You didn’t let me finish. You help us with the project, and then I can guarantee no one will ever bother you again,” she proposed.<br/>
Olivia stared at her long and hard before determining that Yves was being serious.<br/>
“And why would I need your help doing that? Do you think you have power over the entire student body? Do you think being on the student council actually matters in a world outside college applications? If someone’s bothering me, I’ll deal with them myself, thanks,” Olivia said, rolling her eyes. She turned to walk off, carrying her books against her chest. </p><p>“But what will you do when word gets out about the fire?”</p><p>Olivia stopped in her tracks and felt the familiar cold sensation in her fingertips. She whipped around and marched back over to Yves, who didn’t even flinch.<br/>
“How did you know about that?” She demanded.<br/>
“Didn’t think I’d do my research?” Yves teased in a velvet tone.<br/>
“I read quite an interesting article. The fire was started by someone in the house. Probably doing something blasphemous. And then the poor girl had to transfer schools and change her name. Tragic, isn’t it?”<br/>
Olivia gritted her teeth and spat, “You don’t know anything about me!”<br/>
“And neither does the rest of the school. Imagine how unsurprised they will be when they find out the antisocial girl is a pyromaniac.”<br/>
“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why do you want me so bad?” Olivia uttered in frustration.<br/>
In that moment, Yves was taken aback by that question, but didn’t let it show. Why was she so set on getting Olivia?<br/>
Yves examined her face carefully, only mere inches away. Her sharp eyes, her nose, her down turned lips. Olivia was aware she was doing it and concentrated on not blushing.<br/>
“It’s better to be my friend than to be my enemy. Trust me, Olivia,” she answered softly. </p><p>The next part of the story is what has Yves curled on the bathroom floor. It’s what keeps Gowon and Chuu wondering if they were complicit in all of this. The infamous group project, where one person does most of the work but the credit gets distributed evenly. The Music Theory presentation was no different. While they did actually work together as a team at first, the hardest tasks were left for Olivia. Chuu just wanted to play around with the effects on the PowerPoint, but Gowon actually tried to be useful. Then there was Yves who just straight up did not care about whether the project was good or not. Gowon suspected that she knew that Olivia cared too much about her grades to let them fail. Looking back, Gowon regrets not having the courage to call Yves out. She regrets letting Yves convince her that Olivia likes to be alone. One by one they started to skip out on doing the work. Olivia couldn’t say she didn’t see this coming; it’s the number one reason why she insists on working alone. Towards the end, Yves tried to once again convince Olivia to forget about the project and go frolic in the woods with them. The buildup of resent for Yves had been festering inside of her since the day she met her. What irked her most was how Yves carried herself like she was an untouchable deity. </p><p>Olivia’s intention was not to get revenge on Yves, nor was it to punish the other two. She simply wanted to be given the credit she deserved. Watching Gowon and especially Chuu bend to Yves’ touch left a bad taste in her mouth. Olivia knew the only way to throw Yves off her trail was to show her that she could not be taken advantage of. Yves did not want to be friends with her, she wants a disciple to do all the work for her. Olivia knew what she needed to do. </p><p>“What have you done?!” Yves shouted from down the hall. She started making her way towards Olivia’s locker where she was standing. She held her breath, preparing herself for the reckoning.<br/>
“Since the project was done, I told our teacher I was ready to present a day early,” she responded calmly.<br/>
“Does he know you did it without the rest of your group?” Yves seethed.<br/>
“What group? I let him know three weeks ago that I just wasn’t getting along with you three. He said that’s understandable considering you never really show up to his class anyways.”<br/>
“You snake!” Yves shouted so loud it echoed.<br/>
“Are you surprised that I wanted to present the project I worked on? Did you really think I’d be stupid enough to not notice?” Olivia retaliated.<br/>
Yves’ tone was deep and shaking with anger.<br/>
“I gave you a second chance. I gave you a chance to redeem yourself and you spit on it. I could have everyone know by tomorrow that you’re just a pathetic girl who nearly killed her family by lighting a few candles in a circle. Tell me why I should show you any mercy at all.”<br/>
Olivia could feel her heart beating out of her chest and felt claustrophobic from Yves’s gaze. Although her voice shook and she was holding back tears, Olivia looked her dead in the eyes.<br/>
“I don’t want your mercy. Burn in Hell.”<br/>
The tension was strong between the two but before Yves could even think about breaking her nose, she heard a familiar giddy stride coming down the hall. She saw Chuu smiling brightly and babbling about something to her friends. Turning back to Olivia, she lowered her voice and stomped her heel on her foot. Olivia let out a yelp and Yves shushed her.<br/>
In a whisper, she warned, “If I were you, I wouldn’t come back to this school. You don’t belong here. There will never be a place for you here.”</p><p>There is something poetic written in the tears that Yves cried in front of the dean and the police officer who questioned her several times after that. Each time she broke down more and more, soaking the sleeves of her shirt. There is something poetic to be said about looking up at the bright fluorescent light in the police department and thinking this is the closest she’ll ever get to Heaven.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have the last chapter written, but I’m debating whether or not I post it today. Do we want to savor the moment, or are we ready to get this over with lol</p><p>Again, thank you sm for reading, I am over the moon excited that this was received positively. There’s not many Loona fics out there to begin with, so I wanted to add something a little different. I love you all, have a great day! 🍰 💌 🌷</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Midnight Sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gowon and Hyunjin eavesdrop. Haseul leaves the nest. Hyunjin and Heejin share a moment of teenage hormones. </p><p>They are under a new moon, where a whole new side of reality will be unveiled.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gowon’s house felt especially hallow today. Her grandfather was on some extravagant business trip, so it was just her and her parents. Her mother disappeared often, usually to go to a book club or working her real estate job. Her father was also in the business, but he moved over to architecture about a year ago. Needless to say, their house puts HGTV to shame. And yet, Gowon has no desire to invite her friends over. She didn’t like showing off her wealth, especially since it’s not hers in the first place: it’s her family’s. </p><p>Staring down at her reflection in the waxy floors, she heard her father’s voice coming from the office down the hall. Not wanting to distract him, she slipped off her heels and carried them. As she got closer, she paused when she heard him say “diving tower”. She put her ear up against the oak doors, careful not to lean in too much to make a noise.<br/>
“They want it torn down by next week, Dad,” He said over the phone.<br/>
“We could get sued! Do you know how much of a safety hazard that thing is!”<br/>
There were a couple moments of silence, probably her grandfather talking on the other end.<br/>
“Dad, listen! Do we have any other choice? They want it gone by the end of the month.”<br/>
“Wait!” Gowon interjected.<br/>
She shoved open the oak doors and stepped into full view in front of her father.<br/>
“Don’t tear it down. I want to make it a memorial...in Olivia’s name.”<br/>
Her dad stood frozen, blinking a couple times before saying, “That’s a nice gesture to her family, but it’s pretty costly. We’d have to renovate the entire thing up to code standards.”<br/>
“It can’t be as expensive as paying for a wrecking ball and then clearing the aftermath,” Gowon defended.<br/>
She shifted her feet nervously, remembering she was just wearing socks. An idea popped into her head.<br/>
“If money’s the issue, take it from my college fund. I can get a job. I can earn the money myself,” she urged sternly.<br/>
Her father chewed his inner lip, deep in thought. She heard murmuring from his phone. Mr. Park explained the proposition to his father, still making eye contact with Gowon.<br/>
“I suppose that’s an option,” He relayed.<br/>
“Your grandfather is on board, since he won’t have to destroy his magnum opus.”<br/>
Gowon exhaled a sigh of relief, “Thank you. Please just think about it. This is really important to me.”<br/>
“Was she your friend?”<br/>
“Yeah, something like that.”</p><p>Gowon’s father can’t find the words to explain. He doesn’t quite know how to tell her that the diving tower stayed in ruin for so long because it was covering something up. It was a lot easier to get away with health code violations in the 70s; but no amount of hush money today will allow a public pool to open with those radiation levels. Gowon has yet to tell her father about her trespassing, but if he knew she stepped foot in there he’d be on the floor. Recalling his own Highschool years, he distinctly remembered the weird feeling he got from that pool. Maybe it was just embarrassment from being in a speedo, but still, he always felt uneasy there. The whole reason the pool was shut down in the first place was because of an eery case that is still open to this day. Someone on his swim team went missing 3 days before their regional competition. The common belief was that the pressure got to him and he ran away. But even after the competition, his teammate never returned home. Tragically, the next time Mr. Park saw him was in a casket. Four months after he was declared missing, he was found floating face down in the pool. It haunts him to this day, leaves him feeling itchy all over just thinking about it. The swim team could never get back on their feet after that; not when they lost a friend in the very pool they practiced in. Nobody protested when the pool shut down a decade later. The tragedy tied to it just became a local urban legend, one that even Gowon called out for being too far fetched. But her father is too afraid to tell her it isn’t, it’s real and he lived through it. That diving tower had something sinister underneath all that concrete.</p><p>Across town, another girl was perched at the top of the stairs. Hyunjin normally wouldn’t eavesdrop on her parents in fear of knowing too much. But her ears picked up a word about the diving tower, so she just had to know what they were saying.<br/>
She heard her dad’s voice say,<i> “I was talking to Rodney today...”</i><br/>
Rodney was her dad’s longtime friend. Hyunjin has known him as long as she’s known her parents. Being 6’2 and 300 lbs, you’d assume he’d have a badass profession. In reality, he’s just the IT guy for the sheriff’s office.<br/>
<i>“They got a team out there on the crime scene, looking for leads. You’ll never believe what he told me...”</i></p><p>Hyunjin clapped her hand over her mouth. She immediately regretted eavesdropping, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. This information was too heavy for her to bare alone; she had to tell the others. She had to tell them now.</p><p>***</p><p>Maybe it was the stormy weather, but the Jo household felt extremely on edge this evening. Mr. Jo had locked himself in his study against his wife’s wishes. He threw these tantrums once in awhile when he doesn’t pass an audition to play in an orchestra. So that left Haseul and her mother sitting on opposite ends of the dinner table. Haseul poked at her food, not having the appetite for another stale conversation with her mother.<br/>
“Don’t do that, sweetie,” she corrected.<br/>
She immediately stopped, placing her fork down. Something in her just wanted to stir the pot.<br/>
“The next time I cut my hair I think I’ll get a bob,” she said casually, still avoiding eye contact.<br/>
“Now why would you go and chop off your long hair?”<br/>
“I don’t know, I just want to try something different. Maybe I’ll get a tattoo,” she said holding back a smirk.<br/>
“Oh Haseul, you’re just saying this to push my buttons! Tattoos are unprofessional; plus, they won’t look good on your wedding day.” Her mother warned.<br/>
Haseul knew she should’ve just ignored the comment. But today she couldn’t. The pot was boiling over.<br/>
“I don’t want a wedding anyways.”<br/>
“That’s not true. You’re just being difficult,” her mother jabbed.<br/>
Haseul tensed up, turning her hands into fists.<br/>
“Why don’t you ever take me seriously? It’s like you don’t even listen to what I’m saying!”<br/>
Her mom tilted the wine glass up to her lips, “Because I know you just say things to shock me. You throw tantrums just like your father. I thought you got over that when you were what? Ten?”<br/>
She took a sip and gazed up at the ceiling in thought.<br/>
“Maybe that’s why you get along with that little girl so well. You both act like children to get your parents attention.”<br/>
Haseul stood up abruptly.<br/>
“I don’t want your attention. I don’t care if you don’t like me or my life decisions. You know what? You’re not invited to my wedding! No one is! I don’t want to wear a stupid dress, I don’t want to walk down the aisle, I don’t want to give up my last name, I don’t want to exchange rings- ”<br/>
“Young lady, don’t raise your voice at me! Honestly Haseul, how do you expect to find a husband when you act like this?” She scoffed taking a sip from her wine glass.<br/>
“I don’t want a husband!”<br/>
It was too late before Haseul realized what she had said. Her mother did a spit take, spraying the red wine all over the white tablecloth.<br/>
Haseul fled the scene, going up to her room to hibernate until she graduated. Her father’s study was right near the stairs, so when he heard the stomping, he peaked his head out of the door.<br/>
“What happened? Is dinner ready yet?”</p><p>***<br/>
Hyunjin’s parents were used to her antics; barking, meowing, making weird faces at babies so they cry. So when Hyunjin insisted she had to see her friends immediately for a top secret reason, they just thought it was another one of her theatrics.<br/>
“It’s raining outside, you’re going to get soaked!” Her mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs.<br/>
“I don’t care, I need to tell Haseul something.”<br/>
“Can’t you just tell her tomorrow? Or text her?”<br/>
Hyunjin bounded down the stairs and pulled her hood over her head.<br/>
“I can’t say it over the phone, the government can’t know about this either!”<br/>
Hyunjin’s mom stood by the railing of the stairs, wrapping her sweater around her when the gust of wind from the front door blew in.<br/>
“You’re going to get a cold, Hyunjin!” She warned.<br/>
“Mom, I’ll be back soon, I promise.”<br/>
And with that she shut the door and ran to the garage to get her bike. The rain made it hard too see even when walking, so riding would be a challenge. The wind wasn’t much help either, constantly whipping her hood off her head and blowing her hair in her eyes. Miraculously, Hyunjin was able to navigate through the storm to make it to Haseul’s house. It looked like a hurricane had swept through; there were branches scattered all across her driveway. She tossed her bike on the lawn and sprinted to the front door. </p><p>Haseul heard about 20 knocks before she answered the door. Hyunjin was standing there in the pouring rain with her black hair plastered to her face. If it weren’t for the bright yellow raincoat, she might have thought the girl from The Ring was paying her a visit.  Her mom gasped from behind her, probably more horrified at the fact that Haseul was letting the rain come in.<br/>
“Oh don’t worry Mrs. Jo, I won’t be long. I just need to tell Haseul something really quick in private,” Hyunjin said, wringing out her hair while still standing outside.<br/>
“Haseul, make sure she doesn’t make a puddle in the entryway. Water damage isn’t a good look on oak floorboards,” Her mother spoke directly to Haseul.<br/>
“On second thought, we’re going to meet up at Heejin’s, you know, since she doesn’t have oak floors,” Haseul said, narrowing her eyes.<br/>
Hyunjin flicked her eyes back and forth between them and wished her eyes were still covered by her hair so she didn’t have to witness this highly uncomfortable family feud.<br/>
“It’s late and it’s down pouring, what makes you think I’d let you go out?”<br/>
Haseul calmly snapped back, “You won’t, and that’s why I’m not asking, I’m telling you. I’m going out.”<br/>
She grabbed the first garment on the coatrack and pulled the wool poncho over her head. Haseul ignored her mother calling after her as she shut the door behind her.<br/>
“I’ve never seen you talk to your mother like that...or anyone, actually,” Hyunjin marveled.<br/>
“We got in a fight earlier. I think I’m a lesbian.”<br/>
“That makes sense,” Hyunjin nodded, pulling her bike up from the wet grass.<br/>
“Which one?”<br/>
“Both. Now hurry and get your bike before your mom commits a hate crime.”</p><p>***<br/>
Heejin was completely engulfed in her work right now. Her hand was moving independently from her mind, like it was being controlled by some force. It was a forest, thickly settled with tall trees and roots snaking through the ground. Typically Heejin paints more conceptual pieces, but there was a driving impulse to paint this stream of consciousness. Painting is supposed to be relaxing for her, but as the brush travels the canvas, her heart beats faster and faster. It’s like there’s a timer ticking ticking ticking and she feels the sweat forming at her knit brows. She tries to make sense of it all before the timer runs out. Why is she so desperate to get this idea out of her mind? What is so special about some trees?<br/>
Her thoughts shatter with the sound of her mom’s voice.<br/>
“Your friends are here! And uh, get them some towels please!”</p><p>Once the two girls had mostly dried off, Heejin offered them both a stack of clothes.<br/>
“Here’s some dry clothes you can change into. They might not fit perfectly, but it’s just until your clothes are done in the dryer,” Heejin said, handing teach a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt.<br/>
“Thank you,” Haseul said, giving a genuine smile, “I just texted Vivi and told her to come over. She should be here in a few minutes.”<br/>
“Hey, is this my sweatshirt?” Hyunjin asked.<br/>
“Yeah, you let me borrow it awhile ago.”<br/>
“And you didn’t give it back?” Hyunjin said raising an eyebrow.<br/>
Her cheeks a bright shade of pink, she defended, “It was comfy!”<br/>
“Okay...I’m going to change in the bathroom!” Haseul announced and quickly shuffled out of there.<br/>
“Guess you’ll have to wait until she’s done~,” Heejin mocked in a singsong tone.<br/>
Hyunjin made a face at her and stuck her tongue out at her.<br/>
“Turn around,” Hyunjin ordered.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
She repeated, “Just turn around and close your eyes. I’ll get changed here, no big deal.”<br/>
“Okay...”<br/>
Heejin faced the other way and tried to focus her eyes on something else in the room. </p><p>
  <i>This is fine. This is normal. We change in the locker room with our team all the time. What makes this any different?</i>
</p><p>Hyunjin was reassuring herself with the same thoughts, trying to ignore how different it felt compared to those times. Was it because she was in her bedroom? Was it because it was only the two of them? Was it because she looked like a wet dog and therefore more self conscious about her appearance? Whatever the reason was, the experience felt like it went on way longer than a minute. Even when Hyunjin was standing there holding her wet clothes, she didn’t want Heejin to turn back around.<br/>
“Are you done yet?” Heejin complained.<br/>
“Oh, yeah. I just didn’t want to look at your face ‘cause you’re ugly or whatever,” Hyunjin muttered.<br/>
<i>Smooth. Real smooth. </i><br/>
Her face didn’t match her sarcastic words unfortunately, so both girls now faced each other while profusely blushing. Haseul broke the tension by opening the door.<br/>
“Vivi’s here. And she drove so she doesn’t need a change of clothes.”<br/>
Haseul looked at the two of them and noticed Hyunjin holding her wet clothes, but didn’t say anything.<br/>
“Uh, I’ll take your clothes down to the dryer. Make yourselves comfortable!” Heejin stammered.<br/>
Haseul and ViVi exchanged a glance but said nothing.</p><p>Sitting in a circle around a bowl of Chex Mix, the sound of the rain pounded down on the roof.<br/>
“So what is this super important thing you have to tell us?” ViVi inquired.<br/>
Hyunjin leaned forward. Her face was suddenly serious.<br/>
“You can’t tell anyone about this. I’m not supposed to know about this. I overheard my dad talking to his friend who was investigating Olivia Hye’s case and—“<br/>
Her breath suddenly hitched. The other girls patiently held their breath and let her find the words.<br/>
“Yeojin said she saw Olivia jump, right?” She asked, her voice low. Haseul nodded, frowning at the painful memory of Yeojin crying in her arms.<br/>
Hyunjin met her eyes and confessed the words that felt so wrong to say.<br/>
“They never found her body.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don’t be afraid, there is more to come in the epilogue 🌌 Also! I’m posting this on Wattpad, and it won’t be much different content wise, but I might add pictures to spice it up ya know ✨</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. rendezvous under a new moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gowon thought that this would be the end of Yves’ reign. She thought that Yves being found guilty, would get her incarcerated for at least 6 months with a heavy fine. Gowon didn’t tell a soul that she prayed every night for justice. She kneeled by her bed and begged for everything to finally be over. The gears of time and delicate strings of destiny play a music box harmony as this chapter ends and a new one begins.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chuu had waited for Yves at her locker the day she confessed. When she never showed up, she thought it had finally happened; Yves had discarded her. She walked home alone, looking down at her feet. The sky was a dull gray, blanketing any hope of sunlight. Chuu didn’t know why she cared so much about what Yves thought of her. She’d be surprised if Yves ever thought about her in the first place. Being by Yves’ side seemed like the only thing she’s ever known. To put that in grave and bury it felt like she had failed in some way. She wouldn’t get to properly mourn losing the only girl she’s ever loved.</p><p>The next day, the sun rose in colorless sky again. Chuu’s phone lit up, and when she checked it, she was sent falling backwards on her bed again.</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>Yves:</b>
  </i><br/>
<i>I’m going to make this right. I don’t know how, but I’ll do whatever I need to. You’re going to hear the news eventually, but I want you to hear it from me so I can explain myself. And, I need to apologize. If you’re willing to hear me out, meet me at our spot.</i>
</p><p>Not long after processing it, she got a call from Gowon.<br/>
“You got the text too right?” Her dry voice said over the line.<br/>
“Yeah. What does it mean?”<br/>
“I think she turned herself in.”<br/>
There was silence on the line.<br/>
Chuu then hinted, “So what does that mean for us?”<br/>
“Hopefully it means we never have to see her again,” Gowon answered.<br/>
“But don’t you want to know why? Don’t you want answers?” Chuu urged.<br/>
“It’s Yves we’re talking about. It’s probably a trap. She’s probably leading us far into the woods so she can slaughter us-“<br/>
“Will you stop!” Chuu asserted.<br/>
“If you have any qualms with her then say it to her face!”<br/>
Gowon chewed her cheek in contemplation. Perhaps telling Yves everything she’s wanted to say would give her a sense of justice. All the bitterness toward Yves ends up coming out on Chuu anyways.<br/>
“Fine. We’ll go at noon. I’m only doing this for closure, so don’t expect me to hang around long.”</p><p>At high noon, the sun was still covered by the slate gray clouds. It had downpoured last night, the storm was so bad Chuu almost took it as a sign to not meet with Yves. But the rain stopped for now, waiting in the clouds. The two girls looking for closure started their journey in the woods. They came from the same path that was worn from their previous ventures. This time, it felt less exhilarating and more like a walk to the guillotine.<br/>
“She’s not actually sorry, she’s just sorry she got caught,” Gowon criticized.<br/>
Chuu stumbled over a root, flailing her arms out for balance.<br/>
“That doesn’t make sense, though. She turned herself in,” Chuu pointed out.<br/>
“Are you just saying that to defend her?”<br/>
“I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt. We’re almost there, so you can ask her yourself,” Chuu pointed up to the tower a few feet away. They walked up to the fence, Chuu lacing her fingers through them. The pool area was covered in branches and pine needles from the storm last night. The yellow caution tape was still there, now torn and soggy. Gowon almost didn’t come because hated the feeling of walking on the wet muddied ground.<br/>
“I see her!”<br/>
“Don’t sound so excited, she’s a felon,” Gowon grumbled.<br/>
“Oh, stop being so edgy!”<br/>
The two walked along the fence to meet Yves, but were faced with more company than planned.<br/>
“Sorry, are we interrupting something?” Jinsoul said looking between the three of them.<br/>
“Chuu?” The other blonde piped.<br/>
“Lip?” She parroted back.<br/>
Yves scrunched her nose up and ended their little reunion.<br/>
“Yeah, actually you are interrupting. And this is actually private property, so you can’t go in there anyways,” Yves said with a snide shrug.<br/>
Lip stepped forward, ready to charge.<br/>
“Oh, I’m sorry, are YOU the owner?”<br/>
“Actually I am. Well, my family is. But that means I can kick you guys out!” Gowon declared prudely, crossing her arms.<br/>
“No, wait! We’re not here to vandalize or be hooligans! We’re looking for our friend!” Choerry explained.<br/>
“Why would you use the word ‘hooligans’?” Lip said under her breath.<br/>
“And I’m not friends with that gremlin,” Jinsoul added making a sour face.<br/>
“Wait, who’s your friend?” Yves asked genuinely concerned.<br/>
“Im Yeojin. She lives in the house near this tower. We think maybe she got lost in these woods.”<br/>
“I’ll help you search for her,” Yves said without skipping a beat.<br/>
Gowon and Chuu both turned to look at her in disbelief. Gowon exasperated,<br/>
“You’re going to ditch us for a couple of strangers? Unbelievable!”<br/>
Chuu started, “Well, I actually know one of them-“<br/>
Before Gowon could stomp off, Yves grabbed her wrist.<br/>
“I promised you I’d fix things. Olivia is gone because of me, but I can still save somebody else,” Yves begged with pleading eyes.<br/>
“Wait, did you know Olivia?” Choerry said creeping forward with anticipation.<br/>
Yves faced the girl and saw how lit up her face was. She could’ve crumbled right there knowing that the poor girl was oblivious.<br/>
“Yeah. She went to school with us,” Chuu answered for her.<br/>
“Oh that makes sense! You guys are a bunch of Cecilia’s preppies!” Jinsoul awed.<br/>
The three “preppies” glared at her. Chuu then pulled them aside in a huddle and whispered, “We should help them.”<br/>
“Why? What if they’re lying?” Gowon whispered back.<br/>
“Why would they lie about this?”<br/>
“Chuu’s right,” Yves spoke up, “We owe it to them to help. It’s the least we could do after what happened...”<br/>
“Don’t pin that on us! You confessed it yourself, it is your fault,” Gowon whisper-yelled.<br/>
“And I kept your names out of it for that exact reason. But if you feel 100% guilt free, be my guest to walk home.”<br/>
Gowon chewed her lip in irritation, trying not to curse out Yves. She hated that she had a good point. They were witnesses, and yet they didn’t stop Yves.<br/>
“Fine. We’ll help but we should split up to cover more ground,” Gowon announced.<br/>
“Uh, no, that’s how we would get murdered if this were a horror movie!” Jungeun raged.<br/>
Choerry’s eyes went big, whimpering, “There’s a murderer out here?”<br/>
Gowon side eyed Yves.<br/>
“Alright, alright. We’ll go as one big group. But if we get lost I’m blaming you,” Gowon huffed. </p><p>While trudging through the woods, the girls naturally started walking in pairs. Chuu was excited to finally be able to catch up with her old friend, even if it wasn’t an ideal circumstance. Choerry has been in these woods with Yeojin before, so she was more experienced with the layout of the land (aka what not to touch/step in/eat), so Gowon used her as a tour guide. That left Jinsoul and Yves at the end of the parade, walking sluggishly through the wet soil. The two walked in silence, minus the occasional grunting and cursing from Yves.<br/>
“So you’re the jealous type, huh?” Jinsoul remarked.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
Jinsoul wordlessly explained by nodding towards the two girls walking a couple yards away.<br/>
“What? No! I’m not the jealous type! I mean we aren’t even together, you know?” Yves spilled.<br/>
Jinsoul raised both her eyebrows and looked away.<br/>
“Wow, you’re such a bad liar,” she observed.<br/>
“I am not!” Yves protested.<br/>
Jinsoul threw her head back in laughter, getting the attention of the other girls.<br/>
Choerry called out, “Jinsoul, don’t scare her away yet, we still need their help.”</p><p>Choerry resumed leading the group, compass in one hand and walking stick in the other. The stick wasn’t actually to be of use, she just grabbed it in case they happen upon a bear. When she told this to Gowon, she informed her that there were no bears in these woods.<br/>
“But how do you know for sure? You said you haven’t been in this far before. What if there’s bear caves farther in?”<br/>
Gowon rolled her eyes, “There hasn’t been any bears since the 70s. I know this because my Great Grandfather hunted the last one.”<br/>
“Ew,” Choerry remarked.<br/>
“Yeah, his name is Bernie and he’s just a taxidermy statue in my Grandfather’s office now.”<br/>
Choerry smiled at that, but was still curious.<br/>
“Well if there isn’t any bears, where are all the other animals?”<br/>
“What do you mean?”<br/>
Elaborating her question, Choerry lectured, “Bears would be a predator to other animals in this forest. If there are none, shouldn’t there be a lot more deer and wolves and stuff?”<br/>
Gowon thought about it for a moment, not quite understanding what she was getting at until Jungeun spoke up.<br/>
“Yeah, come to think of it, I haven’t seen a single squirrel.”<br/>
“Me either,” Chuu frowned.<br/>
Gowon halted and the rest of the girls soon caught up and paused also.<br/>
“Gowon?” Yves prodded.<br/>
“I think we should go back. Now.”<br/>
“What? Why?” Choerry whined.<br/>
Gowon crossed her arms and looked around.<br/>
“Listen, this is not what I volunteered to do. We’re putting ourselves in danger being out here. Just call the police and have them do the searching,” Gowon testified. She pushed her way past them and started heading back in the direction they came.<br/>
“Gowon! Stop! You’re going to get lost,” Chuu cried.<br/>
“Uh, guys. I hate to be a Negative Nancy but I think Goldie Locks has a point. We’ve been out here for an hour, and haven’t found a single trace of life. Like, at all. Isn’t that kinda weird?” Jungeun speculated.<br/>
“You’re freaking Choerry out, stop!” Jinsoul nudged, going over to coddle the paranoid girl.<br/>
“The police are looking for her, right?” Yves asked.<br/>
Choerry nodded, nestled safely under Jinsoul’s chin.<br/>
“Then why aren’t they here doing this?” Gowon quipped.<br/>
“The police suck, when have they ever done their job? They’re waiting to see if Yeojin comes back home on her own because they think she ran away. They didn’t listen when we told them that Yeojin would never follow through with that kind of plan,” Jungeun ranted.<br/>
“But they won’t even look in the forest? Even when they know she visits it often?” Yves questioned, eyebrow raised.<br/>
“Nope. Now that you said that, it’s kind of weird for them to not even try,” Jinsoul realized.<br/>
“That’s what I’m saying!” Gowon emphasized using her hands, “Not even bears or cops want to be in this forest. There has to be a reason why.”<br/>
Choerry gasped, “You mean like an apex predator?”<br/>
“I don’t know what that is,” Jinsoul admitted, “but it sounds sketch so let’s listen to the other Blondie and get the hell out of here!”</p><p>The girls made it out of the woods in record timing; especially for the three that usually do it in heels. Yves plucked a leaf from Chuu’s hair, the girl soft as butter for even the simplistic of gestures. Gowon made a face of disgust, and the other girls all watched in confusion.<br/>
“So what now?” Jungeun said with her hands on her hips. Everyone was silent, staying awkwardly still waiting for someone to suggest something.<br/>
“Maybe we just have to see if she comes back,” Yves brought up.<br/>
Choerry immediately bursted out,<br/>
“No! I can’t do anymore waiting! I can’t sit around and wait to lose another friend!”<br/>
The group went silent again.<br/>
Yves took a deep breath in, “I’m sorry.”<br/>
Choerry wiped away quick tears and shook her head.<br/>
“No, no. It’s not your fault.”<br/>
Yves’ lungs compressed and she felt her heart sink to her stomach. Is this how Judas felt when he betrayed Jesus?<br/>
“Is there anyone else who could have an idea to where she is?” Jinsoul spoke up.<br/>
Choerry became jittery and placed her hands on Jinsoul’s shoulders and shook her.<br/>
“You’re a genius!” She cheered. The flattery made Jinsoul smile from ear to ear. Choerry then bowed to the other girls and held Yves’ hands too.<br/>
“Thank you so much for your help. I would invite you guys to come along but there’s not much room in Lippie’s truck.”<br/>
Choerry tugged at her friends’ arms until they started to follow her.<br/>
“We have to go to Haseul!”<br/>
The two blondes complained about being rushed, but they soon broke out in a sprint to race each other to the car.<br/>
“Bye! It was nice to meet you!” Jinsoul shouted.<br/>
“Jiwoo you better text me more or I’ll come beat you up!” Jungeun yelled, waving her phone.<br/>
“I’ll beat you up first! I’m a black belt!” Chuu screamed back, trying to sound intimidating but failing miserably by laughing.<br/>
“Who’s Haseul?” Yves asked.<br/>
“No clue,” Gowon responded with no inflection.<br/>
For a moment, they forgot about the grimy mess they created. Gowon felt a mix of fear and loathing when she realized she had opened the gate to let Yves back into her life. It was only a few hours, but she felt her claws digging deep into her flesh. Gowon thought that this would be the end of Yves’ reign. She thought that Yves being found guilty, would get her incarcerated for at least 6 months with a heavy fine. Gowon didn’t tell a soul that she prayed every night for justice. She kneeled by her bed and begged for everything to finally be over. The gears of time and delicate strings of destiny play a music box harmony as this chapter ends and a new one begins. Nothing ever comes to an end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For the sake of Organization, I’m going to continue this in a new work. I’ve already started writing it, but it might be awhile since I really want to focus on my schoolwork and other projects. Thank you again for reading, sweet dreams 🕊🌠</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Far from Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>She felt a drop fall from her upper lip. Using the back of her hand, she wiped her mouth. It was smeared red with blood, the taste of copper soaking in. As she washed the blood off her hands, her nose continued to flow, blood dribbling down her chin. A drop soaked into her undershirt. She cursed, thinking it would be a hard stain to get out before realizing that she had no obligation to do so. She ripped some paper towels from the dispenser to clean her face. Looking at herself in the mirror with bloodied lips and a dirty uniform, she wondered if her classmates ever thought of her. </p><p>“If you saw me now,” she said to her reflection, “What would you think of me?”</p><p>She turned on the faucet, washing the blood pooling in the sink. </p><p>“What do you see in me now, Yves?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>SURPRISE! I've spent the past few months working on writing the second part of this fic and I'm super excited to share it I've put a lot of effort into tying the lore into it. My writing has changed a bit since then lol so this fic isn't exactly light reading, it's very text heavy, bulky paragraphs. The updates will be slower because of that, but it's worth it I promise :))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s felt like years since Olivia got here. Where exactly, she doesn’t know. But it’s far, far away from home. All she remembers is waking up on a dirty mattress in the middle of an abandoned factory. She had opened her eyes expecting heaven or hell— possibly a hospital room. But she awoke to old steel beams and sunlight clouded by dust. She thought it was a mistake, it must be a dream, but however many days later and she hasn’t woken up yet. Although it’s less of a dream and more of a nightmare.<br/>
</p><p>
The strangest thing about this place is that there are no people. None at all. She left the factory and walked aimlessly towards the setting sun, hoping to reach the city on the horizon by nightfall. She nearly collapsed at the door of a Denny’s, out of breath and dehydrated. But when no one came to help her, she realized the place was empty. All the lights in the city were on so there must be electricity, but besides the hum of the fan it was silent. Right off the bat Olivia was relieved that no one would see her in this state of desperation. And since no one was around, surely they wouldn’t mind if she fixed herself a plate and stayed for awhile. Surprisingly, none of the food had gone bad. She checked the expiration dates; all were a few months away. She was too hungry to think about how weird it was. She ate her meal sitting on the counter so she could face the door. There were no cars driving by, but there were street lights. Everything in the restaurant was in its place; no signs of struggle or panic. Maybe it was an evacuation. Once she finished her meal she jumped down from the counter and took a look around the place. The faucets worked, the lights worked, so the phones must work too. She had left her phone in her bag and-- well, she didn’t jump with her backpack. She picked up the red wall phone and heard the tone. She felt her heart race as she pounded in her aunt’s number. It rang three times, then she heard a voice:<br/>
<i>“We’re sorry, the number you have reached does not exist.”</i><br/>
She grumbled into the phone but tried punching in the numbers extra carefully this time. She was given the same message. Now frustrated, Olivia cursed her aunt. She dialed the only other number she had memorized and crossed her fingers hoping she would pick up. She chewed her lip nervously as she heard the dial tones.<br/>
“C’mon Yerim, pick up.”<br/>
<i>“We’re sorry, the number you have reached does not exist. Please try again.”</i><br/>
Her heart sank. She knew it was unlikely Choerry would answer from an unknown number, but she hoped she could at least leave a message. It was her own fault for not talking to her in years. Of course she would have a different number.<br/>
As a last resort, Olivia called the only place that was guaranteed to pick up. She dialed 9-1-1 and prepared what she was going to say.<br/>
<i>Hi. I’m mentally unstable and alone, can you help me?<br/>
I’d like to report a missing person. Persons actually. Where the fuck is everybody?<br/>
I tried to kill myself and now I don’t know where I am. Any advice?</i><br/>
She waited for the three dial tones to finish and felt her blood run cold at the sound of the voice on the other line.<br/>
<i>“We’re sorry, the number you have reached does not exist. Please try again.”</i></p><p>As horrifying as that sounds, she came to accept it eventually. She spent a few days in that Denny’s, but decided it was pointless to wait around for someone to rescue her. Like any normal person, Olivia took advantage of the post-apocalyptic state of the city. Most buildings were unlocked, so she could come and go as she pleased. She gathered the essentials from a corner store nearby and carried it around in a shopping basket. She ran out of room and had to switch over to a shopping cart, but the one she found had a wheel that went a bit wonky, so it took her twice as long to push it in the direction she was going. It took a few days, but she finally found a car that was unlocked with the keys still in it. She didn’t have her license, but hey, who was gonna stop her? She could do whatever she wanted with no one around to tell her not to. It was a dream come true that was quickly soiled. The real problem was when she found out she wasn’t alone. Olivia is being hunted, but she doesn’t know why. It started as just a weird coincidence, but everywhere she goes she sees it: the wolf.</p><p>She’s relocated many times, driving to the next town over, going on foot to the nearest motel, covering her face from head to toe in disguise. Every time those yellow eyes find her. It really started to freak her out when the wolf began to chase after her. It was no longer just staring from a distance, it was actively trying to reach her. One time, Olivia tried to reason with it, thinking that maybe this was like a Disney movie or something. But even when she offered it a hotdog, it growled at her and tried to bite her hand. She escaped the near death experience by a fraction of a second, retracting her hand and kicking the wolf in the nose. She bolted towards the nearest building, a restroom, and slammed the door behind her with her back against the door. Pressing her ear against the door, she tried to hear if the wolf was waiting outside for her. It was hard to tell, so she decided to wait it out. There were three sinks, each of them yellowed and grimy, so she chose the least dirty looking one. She washed her hands, checking to see if the wolf got to her at all. She was unharmed, but she looked like a wreck. Her school uniform was dirty and fraying at the seams, a few buttons were missing, and her socks muddy and worn at the soles. Her shoes weren’t in great condition either; they weren’t exactly made for this much running. Despite being able to find other clothes, she still wore her uniform every day Monday through Friday. That routine may be the only thing that helps her keep track of the days gone by. But besides that, it’s a reminder of who she is-- or who she was. A dark thought had crossed her mind before, and her uniform was her only way of coping with it. If she never finds anyone, or if the wolf gets to her, she will die in an unknown place. But if anyone or anything were to find her body, they would see her uniform and maybe they’d be able to trace her back to the school. The uniform showed that at one point she belonged to something. If Olivia were to die in the middle of nowhere, she at least wanted to feel like she belonged.<br/>

She felt a drop fall from her upper lip. Using the back of her hand, she wiped her mouth. It was smeared red with blood, the taste of copper soaking in. As she washed the blood off her hands, her nose continued to flow, blood dribbling down her chin. A drop soaked into her undershirt. She cursed, thinking it would be a hard stain to get out before realizing that she had no obligation to do so. She ripped some paper towels from the dispenser to clean her face. Looking at herself in the mirror with bloodied lips and a dirty uniform, she wondered if her classmates ever thought of her.<br/>
“If you saw me now,” she said to her reflection, “What would you think of me?”<br/>
She turned on the faucet, washing the blood pooling in the sink.<br/>
“What do you see in me now, Yves?”</p><p>***<br/>
Yeojin never planned on getting lost in the woods. She was just trying to run away from her parents; no matter how many times she tells them the truth, they refuse to believe her. To avoid being sent to boarding school, Yeojin snuck out of her house and ran into the woods. Hiding near the diving tower would be too obvious, she thought. So she just kept walking in a straight line, careful to not walk in circles. She only had the clothes on her back, a jacket, and a frog backpack filled with snacks and other miscellaneous items she may need. The forest that she thought she knew began to look more foreign the deeper in she went. Trees became more mangled, with branches twisted and mangled together. The sun would set in a few hours, and then she’d have to rely on her flashlight. Truthfully, she didn’t think she’d make it this far. This was just a stunt to get her parents to take her seriously. They’d notice she was gone, call the police, and start a search party. If that didn’t work, Plan B was to just camp out in the woods until Haseul found her. When the sky turned orange, Yeojin decided it was time to prepare for Plan B.</p><p>Now, she was no girl scout, but she did read plenty of survival tips on WikiHow, so she’ll probably last awhile. She searched the area for rocks and made a small basketball sized circle with them. In the middle of it she put a clump of dry leaves and grass. Taking the lighter from her bag, she lit a leaf. The rest slowly caught flame as she fanned it with her hands. Sitting with her back against a tree, she watched the little fire as she ate a granola bar. It had only been a few hours and she already feels feral and detached from the world. These woods have always been a strange place. Even when she was just sitting by the pool in her backyard, she’d always have her eyes glued to the trees. It’s like they were always watching. On days when Choerry would come over, she always said she felt creeped out by the woods. Still, they would often play in the woods, pretending to be fairies and what not. Even though she’s still young, just on the edge of her teen years, Yeojin is envious of the girl she was a few years ago. So carefree and unafraid of the world. Now, she sat deep in the woods, alone in the dark. She felt like crying suddenly, but suppressed the urge. Someone could be coming to find her any minute now, she can’t be seen crying. Trying to distract herself she thought of a happy memory. On days when Haseul would babysit her, she’d make Haseul come into the woods with her while she looked for frogs. Haseul jumped at anything that moved, so she’d stand as far away as possible. Being the gremlin she is, Yeojin would sometimes pretend to have a frog cupped in her hand and chase her around while she screamed. Yeojin was always very good at finding frogs, earning her the name ‘the frog whisperer’ in elementary school. Looking back, it was weird that Choerry never came across any frogs when they’d go frog hunting together. They always chalked it up to bad luck, but even Choerry began to doubt if there were actually any frogs in the woods. It’s funny to think that their first big fight was over frogs. As trivial as it may seem, it’s still something that has bothered Yeojin to this day. How ironic that years later she’s sitting in the same forest trying to get people to believe what she saw once again. Lately there’s been a persistent fear that she was not seeing what everyone was. Losing her confidence in her sense of reality, she became less confident that Plan B would work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. The Tower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gowon investigates the diving tower’s history and is surprised to find it that Olivia wasn’t the first to attempt suicide from the diving platform.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The formatting might be messed up sorry bout that luvs I’ll fix it tomorrow! These chapters are really long and wordy on purpose btw pls understand that this is just how I write 😅</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chuu’s phone rang, vibrating on the table. She looked at the caller ID and immediately hit decline.<br/>
“Her again?” Gowon assumed.<br/>
Chuu nodded, looking down at her hands. It’s been hard to forget about her when she keeps blowing up her phone. The two girls had been avoiding Yves as much as possible. They only hung out with each other now, which they hadn’t really done before. Gowon wouldn’t have even considered being friends with Chuu if Yves hadn’t introduced her. But here they are today, seated at a table for two in a retro style diner.<br/>
“Just block her already. That’s what I did,” Gowon said, taking a sip from her milkshake.<br/>
“But what if it’s an emergency,” she protested.<br/>
“I bet she has made plenty of new friends at her new school that she could call. She’s just guilt tripping so we’ll come crawling back to her.”<br/>
“Maybe,” Chuu admitted halfheartedly. She stirred her strawberry milkshake with her straw, lost in thought.<br/>
“Do you think she’s mad at us?”<br/>
Chuu looked up, “Huh?”<br/>
“Do you think she’s mad that she was the only one that got in trouble?” Gowon reiterated.<br/>
“Maybe. But she didn’t turn us in either, so maybe that’s not the problem.”<br/>
“Do you think she expected us to come forward on our own?”<br/>
The air was uncomfortable now; both girls felt hot in their sweaters.<br/>
“We weren’t the ones who told her to do it,” Chuu whispered.<br/>
“But we watched it happen and we never said anything!” Gowon whispered back.<br/>
She could see that Chuu was feeling sick just at the thought of their involvement.<br/>
“It’s not our fault,” she cracked.<br/>
“I’m not saying it was, but we could’ve done more. Don’t you feel bad?” Gowon pressed.<br/>
Chuu dabbed her mascara coated eyelashes with a napkin, crumbling it up and tossing it on the table as she stood up.<br/>
“You’re one to talk about guilt tripping. Next time you wanna hang out, leave your inner turmoil at home.”<br/>
Chuu left the diner, the bell on the door jingling. </p>
<p>There was a fog hanging over the trees as Gowon walked the stone path to her front door. The tall shrubs in front of her house were a little overgrown, nearly touching the windows. A few hawks circled in the distance, sending a shiver up her spine.<br/>
<em>Fucking creepy.</em><br/>
Gowon isn’t one to get the heebie-jeebies; especially over some bad weather and birds, but something changed. Ever since that day in the woods, she hasn’t looked at forests the same. She started closing her curtains at night because the moonlight on the trees unsettles her so much that she can’t sleep. Chuu doesn’t want to talk about it of course. It’s too scary, too depressing. So later that night, Gowon looked for answers elsewhere.</p>
<p>“Did you hear from Olivia’s parents yet?” Gowon asked after a long silence.<br/>
Without looking up, her father responded, “Her aunt said they don’t want her name on anything. Something about cursing the school. She was really weird. Freaky religious weird.”<br/>
Gowon tried to hide her disappointment, moving her food around her plate instead.<br/>
“Why did the school stop using the diving tower?” she asked.<br/>
Her father stopped cutting into his steak. Her mother froze with her wineglass to her lips. Her grandfather was the first one to break the silence by clearing his throat.<br/>
“Simple. There was no need for a diving pool since people quit the diving team.”<br/>
“But couldn’t you have waited for a new class to come along? Or leave it for recreational use for the students?”<br/>
Her grandfather scoffed, “No one wanted to go near that damn thing after what happened-”<br/>
Mr. Park interrupted him, “Dad, she doesn’t want to hear about that.”<br/>
“Hear about what?”<br/>
“You haven't told her?”<br/>
“Gentlemen, not while we’re eating dinner,” Mrs. Park scolded.<br/>
“She’ll find out eventually, everyone in this town knows!” her grandfather chortled.<br/>
“I know about the kid who drowned in the pool,” Gowon said quietly, gripping her silverware, “Everyone does. Kids tell the freshmen about it to scare them.”<br/>
“Chaewon, don’t believe everything you hear. I thought you were smarter than that.”<br/>
The last part stung a bit, sending Gowon into a spiral. Did her father think she was some dumb gullible teen girl?<br/>
Mrs. Park was staring her husband down in shock and fury.<br/>
“So I’m the bad guy again, huh?” Mr. Park got up, throwing his cloth napkin down and storming off.<br/>
“Oh, you’re so dramatic!” Mrs. Park called out after him. She gave up, sighing and waving her hand.<br/>
“Honey, your father is sensitive when it comes to that stupid pool, it’s not your fault,” she explained.<br/>
Gowon let go of the utensils and pretended to look unaffected.<br/>
Her grandfather shot her a sympathetic nod.<br/>
“Chaewon, there’s one thing you need to know about this family: we’re all very good at keeping secrets. Your father is not very good at opening up. I’m afraid he’s learned that from your ‘ol granddaddy.”<br/>
Gowon nodded silently, looking down at her half eaten plate.<br/>
“May I be excused?”<br/>
Mrs. Park gave her a weak smile, “Of course, sweetie.”</p>
<p>Gowon had a hard time falling asleep that night, even with her window completely shrouded with dark curtains. The next day at school, Gowon headed straight to the library, determined to find answers.<br/>
She stood at the front desk, waiting for the librarian to notice her. She was a little too invested in a game of solitaire on that fossil of a computer. Gowon’s patience ran out and in the fakest voice she could muster, she politely asked, “Excuse me, could you help me find something?”<br/>
“Aren’t you usually here with those other girls?” the librarian said looking over the glasses resting on the tip of her nose.<br/>
“Yes,” Gowon responded, raising an eyebrow, “But I’m obviously not now. I’m doing a research paper. Do you have any newspapers from the 1970s?”<br/>
“Probably. You gotta be more specific than that.”<br/>
“Okay, what about when the diving team was active? Anything from around that time?”<br/>
The clicking of the mouse stopped as the librarian slowly lifted her head up.<br/>
“What is this paper about exactly?”<br/>
“You know already, don’t you?” Gowon said in a hushed tone. Her grandfather was right, everyone in this school knows about it, they just don’t speak of it.<br/>
“Yeah, we have some saved in our archives. Follow me.”<br/>
She followed her across the library to a back room full of filing cabinets. A few rows in, she stopped in front of one and unlocked the drawer. The librarian rifled through the papers, coughing from the dusty smell.<br/>
“Ah ha! Here you go, Miss Park,” she handed her a dingy looking folded newspaper.<br/>
“Thank you, I really appreciate it.”<br/>
As she was leaving, the woman stopped her.<br/>
“I know it’s none of my business, but why did that pool stay vacant?”<br/>
Gowon tried to look oblivious, shrugging her shoulders.<br/>
“I dunno. My father never gave me a straight answer.”<br/>
That was a half truth. She knew the fake answer that she’s been served; too expensive to upkeep a pool nobody is using. But she knew that wasn’t the real reason. Mr. Park is dedicated to concealing why nobody wants to use the pool. He was a master at hiding things; it was the only way he’d get Gowon to eat fruit as a kid. Dipping strawberries in chocolate, putting blueberries in pudding, cutting up apple slices to look like French fries. He was a clever man, but even more so was his daughter. </p>
<p>She sat at a table in the far corner of the library under a single light. Opening up the yellowed newspaper, her eyes scanned the faded text for a clue. It didn’t take long for her to find the bolded headline that read: </p>
<p></p><div>
  <h4> ST. CECILIA’S STUDENT FOUND DEAD IN DIVING POOL</h4>
</div>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Han Seongjin, a junior on St. Cecilia’s diving team was found dead on the morning of April 5th. His body was found floating face down in the pool with no signs of struggle. After disappearing right before a statewide swim meet a few weeks ago, Mr. and Mrs. Han reported their son missing. Authorities on the scene say they have not found a probable explanation for his sudden disappearance and reappearance. Lead investigator Park Jusik says, “All we can do now is wait for the forensic reports to be released before continuing the investigation. I think it’s fair to say there might be some foul play on St. Cecilia’s end, but we haven’t got any solid evidence yet.”</p>
</blockquote><p>“Foul play?” she murmured to herself. Thankfully no one else was in this corner of the library; Gowon was dangerously close to damaging school property. She folded the newspaper and stormed to the front of the library where the desk was.<br/>
“Do you have any other newspapers about this?”<br/>
“Nope,” the librarian answered without looking up from her game.<br/>
“What? Didn’t the next week’s paper have a follow up article?”<br/>
“Nope. That’s the only time the press covered the diving tower. Besides the recent case, of course. But even then, they don’t allow follow ups.”<br/>
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Gowon said more to herself.<br/>
“It makes perfect sense, actually. It’s bad for the school’s image. I wouldn’t be surprised if the school’s administrator stepped in with some hush money.”<br/>
Gowon couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Or, she didn’t want to believe it. </p>
<p>Knowing her father’s past record with confrontation, Gowon sought out to find a recount from the other side of the story. In this age of technology, it wasn’t hard to find a complete stranger. One Google search led her to a year old post on his sister’s FaceBook. </p>
<p>
  <em>Han Somin: Happy birthday, Seongjin. I wish you were still here with us. </em>
</p>
<p>Han Somin had no pictures of herself on her profile, only pictures of her dogs and children. She spent at least 4 hours pacing back and forth thinking about how she should introduce herself. What if it wasn’t her? Would she not want to talk to her if she knew her name was attached to the school? Would she even know who she was? To play it safe, she made a profile under her nickname ‘Gowon’; only her classmates call her that. Getting a private message from a stranger who knows all about your brother that died decades ago isn’t exactly pleasant, so she tried to frame it as respectfully as possible. </p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m sorry for contacting you out of the blue like this, but it is really important. I’m a sophomore at St. Cecilia’s. Recently, a friend of mine committed suicide off the diving tower. I think the school is trying to cover it up like they did with your brother. If you see this, please respond. I am looking for answers.”</em>
</p>
<p>Gowon hit send and immediately cringed. Maybe she sounded pitiful enough to gain her some sympathy, because she got a response later that day.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m willing to talk, but we have to do it in person. We can’t leave a digital footprint of this conversation happening. Delete these messages after you’re done reading them. Meet me in the gymnasium Friday evening during the basketball game. I’ll be wearing all grey and sunglasses.</em>
</p>
<p>As Friday crept closer, the realization that she was actually doing this kicked in. The whole plan sounded like a first class ticket to getting murdered, but she didn’t have any other options. She was in too deep now. Chuu tried to talk her out of it, but Gowon was determined to find answers. She took the typical safety precautions; pepper spray, shared location with Chuu, and meeting in a public area. Thursday night she could hardly sleep. Friday morning she felt so sick to her stomach that she couldn’t eat. She was overwhelmed with nerves so much so that it felt more like it was her instincts telling her to turn back. </p>
<p>Scanning the basketball court, she spotted someone who matched the description. Han Seongjin’s sister was sitting at the end of the bleachers, wearing a grey tracksuit and sunglasses. She looked about her mother’s age, and fit in well with the other PTA moms. Gowon hesitantly sat down next to her, clutching her purse.<br/>
“Somin?” she asked tentatively.<br/>
“Gowon?”<br/>
She let out a sigh of relief.<br/>
“You must be really desperate to meet up with a stranger,” Somin remarked.<br/>
“I am. This is kind of time sensitive. The diving tower is scheduled to be torn down in a few months.”<br/>
“I knew it. I knew they were hiding something with that damn tower! And now they’re trying to get rid of the evidence.”<br/>
“What do you think they’re covering up?”<br/>
“My god, it could be just about anything. All I know is that people disappear on that tower and they come dead a few weeks later.”<br/>
“Is that what you think happened to your brother?”<br/>
Somin glanced over her shoulder before answering.<br/>
“My brother was a great swimmer and an even better diver. He wouldn’t skip a competition even if he was nervous. So they thought it might have been an abduction. But the forensic reports came back and there were no signs of assault. The coroner's report said he drowned. They never found an explanation for why he went missing.”<br/>
Gowon processed the story slowly, her ears tuning out the noise of the basketball game.<br/>
Somin took the break of silence before saying, “God, I can’t wait for that tower to be destroyed.”<br/>
“Me too.”</p>
<p>***<br/>
The Hiland students marveled and whispered at the pretty girl who stood waiting in the school’s parking lot. She was dressed in her school uniform, a tight bow in her hair, leaning up against a Honda Civic. She didn’t pay attention to the kids staring, she was searching for someone. </p>
<p>A group of three walked together, bumping elbows and chattering. The girl in the middle recognized the school uniform, and then saw the familiar face.<br/>
“Gowon?”<br/>
The girls on either side of her went quiet and looked up.<br/>
“Hey, you’re the one who owns the tower!” Jinsoul recollected.<br/>
“I don’t own the tower, my grandfather just funded it,” she corrected.<br/>
Lip rolled her eyes, “Okay, what do you want Daddy’s Money?”<br/>
Choerry shook both the girls off and stepped over to speak to Gowon privately.<br/>
“Don’t listen to them, they’ve had bad experiences with rich people,” Choerry explained.<br/>
“But I’m not rich,” Gowon asserted.<br/>
“I can see that…” Choerry said nodding her head towards her car.<br/>
“That’s not important," she huffed, "I have to talk to you about something.”<br/>
Jinsoul and Jungeun were eavesdropping, but pretended to still be bickering about nonsense.<br/>
“This is not the first time someone has disappeared from the diving tower. A student went missing and was found in the pool a month later. What if Olivia is missing too?”<br/>
Jungeun swooped in, pulling Choerry aside. “Let’s go.”<br/>
“Wait!” she freed herself from her grip.<br/>
“Just listen to me!” Gowon pleaded.<br/>
Glaring at her, Lip stood in front of the brunette.<br/>
“Look, just because you’re struggling to cope with her death doesn’t mean you have to make it harder for everyone else.”<br/>
“I’m trying to help you find her!”<br/>
“Find her where exactly? In her grave?”<br/>
“LIP!” Jinsoul scolded.<br/>
Choerry had that glassy look in her eyes, the same one she had in their car ride to LA.<br/>
“Choerry, let’s go,” Jungeun said quietly.<br/>
Without saying a word, Choerry lunged towards Gowon, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl.<br/>
“It’s okay to feel guilty for not helping her sooner.”<br/>
The hug was oddly comforting, and it felt like Gowon was see-through. Every feeling she’s suppressed rose to the surface. Choerry let go and waved goodbye before joining her friends; Lip still glaring over her shoulder. </p>
<p>Gowon cried for the first time since the funeral. Not the couple of tears crying, the real crying. Puffy eyes, face beet red, drooling and wailing like a baby crying. She sat in her car for an hour sobbing and screaming as the radio played. She felt nothing and everything at the same time. Her head was pounding like a big bag of sand was weighing down on her skull. Why was she doing this anyways? Why couldn’t she just accept that Olivia is gone and move on with her life like everyone else? She didn’t even know her that well. The feeling of guilt crawled up her throat and she was suffocated by it once again.<br/>
<br/>
<em>She would still be here if she had said something.</em><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>See you in the next chapter...things are gonna start getting reeeeaaally weird</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. I will follow you into the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The thing about the moon girls is that they're gonna run.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This took me so long to write im sorry :( I had a few contingency errors and I need to fix the timeline a wee bit, so there will be some edits made to the previous chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haseul ran to the front door to see who was continuously banging the knocker. Peering out the little stained glass window on the door, she could see Jinsoul peering in. It scared the shit out of her and she opened the door to yell at them, but was cut off immediately.
"Is Yeojin here?" they said in unison.<br/>
Haseul looked at the three girls, confused. "Uh...no? She's grounded."<br/>
Choerry immediately wore the disappointment on her face.<br/>
"She ran away. We thought she'd come here," Lip explained.<br/>
"Well, she's not. She's probably in the woods," Haseul proposed.<br/>
Jinsoul shook her head, "We just came back from there. Didn't find anything."<br/>
"Well did you check the diving tower?"<br/>
"Not really."<br/>
"Did you check?" Haseul asked again sternly.<br/>
"No! Why? We were searching the woods!" Lip defensively folded her arms across her chest.<br/>
"Why are you so concerned about the tower?" Choerry asked worried.<br/>
"Forget it, just go get some rest. If she doesn't show up by the end of the day, I'll help you look for her in the woods again. Search the tower first, we'll meet you there tomorrow after school."<br/>
"But that's too long! What if she's in danger?" Choerry whined.<br/>
"She's a tough kid, she'll be fine," Haseul said closing the door on them. Lip called her a bitch through the door, but Haseul didn't care. She had a lot going on right now, and Yeojin going missing was just another Thursday. She had done these stunts countless time, all desperate attempts at making her parents pay attention to her. It was sad and painful to watch, but Haseul couldn't do anything about it. The Im's aren't returning her calls, Yeojin isn't answering her texts, the police are useless, and so that leaves Haseul to be responsible for her. Normally, she doesn't mind taking care of Yeojin; she loves that gremlin like a sister. But Haseul is only 18 years old, she cannot bare the weight of taking care of herself let alone another human being. Thinking about this stuff makes her feel sick. She lifelessly floated back up the staircase and to her bedroom. She wanted to throw herself on her bed dramatically, but she was too tired for theatrics. Instead, she just laid on top of her comforter.</p>
<p>
  <em> Am I heartless for not wanting to be a mom?</em>
</p>
<p>It felt stupid to be worried about such a thing, but Haseul had always wondered if there was something wrong with her. She didn't feel capable of being a mother. Not now, not ever. And adults say those corny things like "I thought the same thing when I was your age," or "You'll change your mind". Those words are grating to hear. That's why she never talks about this stuff-- this "womanhood" stuff. She felt like a fraud amongst other girls who wanted to get married and have a family. </p>
<p><em> "Maybe I will grow out of it. I'm just being dramatic"</em> she thought. She sounded too much like her mom now. Her pride sparked up and her woes turned to bitterness. She can always hear her mom's voice nagging.<br/>
<em> You need to practice more.</em><br/>
<em> You need to study harder, you should be making straight A's.</em><br/>
<em> Sit up straight.</em><br/>
<em> You can't wear that, it's too revealing.</em><br/>
<em> You can't say that, it's unladylike.</em><br/>
Like a rubber band, something deep inside of her snapped. She felt her feet touch the floor before she realized she had gotten out of bed and was walking toward her vanity mirror. Something compelled her to sit down in front of it and stare at her reflection. Just as she had expected, she still resembled her mom. An intrusive thought told her to punch the mirror until her knuckles were bloody and she could no longer see her reflection. But that wouldn’t fix anything; she’d have to destroy every mirror she came across. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the front door open. She heard the familiar sound of her mother's heels clopping on the hard floors and the jingle of her car keys as she put them on the hook. She looked once more at her reflection, watching the anger retreated into it's home in the hollow of her stomach. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p><em>Crack.</em><br/>
The noise startled Yeojin awake. She hadn't even realized she had dozed off, and by the looks of the simmered out fire, it must have been awhile ago. Panic set in when she realized Plan B had failed spectacularly. No one had come to find her and now she had to wait until sunrise to find her way back home. To make matters significantly worse, she kept hearing noises. Maybe it was just her imagination, but it sounded like someone else was in these woods. The louder the sounds got, the more Yeojin began to believe it wasn't her imagination. Clutching her bag, she reached in and whipped out her flashlight. Clicking it on, the light was blinding, making her close her eyes.<br/>
“Who goes there?” she spoke, trying to sound intimidating.<br/>
Nobody responded, so she lowered the flashlight and let her eyes adjust. The noise hadn't come from a crazy axe murderer or a bear, it came from something more familiar.<br/>
“Choerry? What are you doing out here?”<br/>
She didn't respond, just turned and ran the other way.<br/>
“Hey! Where are you going?” Yeojin jumped to her feet, tossing her bag over her shoulder. She kept her flashlight pointed at her, following her feet as she weaved through the trees. Yeojin tried to keep up but she was strangely fast.<br/>
<em>How is she not tripping over your own feet right now? How can she see where she's going? Normally she’s blind as a bat!</em><br/>
“Why are you running?”<br/>
Choerry finally spoke up, “Just follow me!”<br/>
They did a bit more running until Choerry led them to a familiar place. Even in the dark, Yeojin could still see the looming diving tower cast a shadow on the moonlit ground.<br/>
“Uh, Choerry,” she stammered, “Why are we here? It’s still a crime a scene.”<br/>
Choerry ignored her, ripping the caution tape off the chained up gate.<br/>
“C’mon Choerry, we can’t go in there, it’s locked for a reason!”<br/>
Choerry turned to face her, holding up a key. Even though it was dark, Yeojin could tell she was smiling. It was bone chilling, but she brushed it off.<br/>
“Where’d you get that?”<br/>
The chains fell to the ground in a clatter and Choerry shoved open the rusty gate.<br/>
“I’m very good at finding things,” she said, entering the forbidden area. Yeojin looked around to make sure no one was watching and followed after her.<br/>
“What has gotten into you?! Have you gone nuts? Are you on drugs? Did Jinsoul give you a brownie that smelled funny?” Yeojin berated.<br/>
She could see her up close now, and it was only then that she noticed something was different about her. She looked like Choerry, but she didn’t act like Choerry. Her face had a blank sort of blissful look opposed to her normal anxious expression.<br/>
“Do you trust me?” she asked with that same plastic smile.<br/>
Yeojin blamed it on her nerves or exhaustion, but she could’ve sworn she saw one of her eyes had a glint of purple around them.<br/>
“Sure, I guess I do. You’re my best friend after all.”<br/>
She never admitted that out loud before, especially not to her face. Yeojin didn’t like saying stuff like that out loud because it only hurts more when things go south. Things always go south for Yeojin. If it wasn’t painfully obvious, she didn’t have any friends. She was always “too much” for people. Too loud, too energetic, too talkative, too messy, too distracting— too much even for her parents to handle. They had to pay Haseul, a random High schooler, to keep her company. But Choerry was willing to do it for free.<br/>
“I need you to jump off the tower.”<br/>
“What?!”<br/>
Choerry was unresponsive to her earth shattering tone.<br/>
“You want to find the girl don’t you?”<br/>
“The girl? Who?”<br/>
“You saw her jump didn’t you? But you didn’t see where she went. I know where she went.”<br/>
“Olivia?” she said in almost a whisper.<br/>
“What do you know about Olivia, why didn’t you tell anybody what-”<br/>
Choerry walked away from her, towards the tower ladder. Yeojin stared in disbelief, trembling from the memories of what she witnessed before. When Choerry reached the second platform, she walked across the diving board.<br/>
“Well are you coming?” she called down to her.<br/>
Yeojin was frozen in place sobbing, begging her not to do it. She wanted to move but her feet were cemented to the ground.<br/>
“If you’re scared of heights you can do it on the first platform!” Choerry suggested.<br/>
Yeojin was still crying and trying to pinch herself awake. The odds of her reliving the same traumatic event is less likely than this all being a bad nightmare.<br/>
“Okay, well, I can go first! Just follow along after me and I’ll wait for you on the other side!” she chirped.<br/>
She backed up to prepare to jump when Yeojin’s flight instincts finally kicked in.<br/>
“Wait! Don’t go, don’t go! I’ll come with you!” she panicked, running to the ladder. Choerry waited for her to get on the platform, greeting her with a smile.<br/>
“Don’t leave me...I’ll jump I-I’ll go with you,” she sobbed, out of breath.<br/>
“You want to jump together? Great! We’ll probably end up in the same place, but you never know!” she said with blind optimism.<br/>
“Shouldn’t we leave a note?” Yeojin asked, voice wavering.<br/>
“For who?”<br/>
“For everyone...parents...friends,” she began to tear up again.<br/>
Choerry laid a hand on her shoulder.<br/>
“You’re gonna really miss them, huh? We’ll leave a note then.”<br/>
“I don’t have any paper,” Yeojin reached into her bag and unzipped a pouch and pulled out her phone.<br/>
“I guess I can write it on my phone since I won’t be needing it,” she sniffled.<br/>
She quickly typed out her goodbyes, trying not to go into a crying fit again. She almost asked Choerry if she wanted to write anything down, but from the looks of it the brunette was pretty content with how she was leaving things. Maybe she already wrote one and left it at home. When she finished she opened her settings and disabled the passcode to unlock her phone. She left the phone near the ladder.<br/>
Yeojin felt a pit in her stomach as she walked toward the end of the diving board. Choerry held out her hand and she grabbed it. They stood about halfway to the edge, 15 feet from the bottom of the empty pool.<br/>
Choerry turned to look at her, a slight wind blowing strands of hair across her face.<br/>
“You’re still crying. What’s wrong?”<br/>
“I’m scared,” she swallowed.<br/>
Choerry didn’t pay any mind to the tears running down her face as she squeezed her hand.<br/>
“Don’t be scared. We’re doing this together, remember?”<br/>
Yeojin couldn’t help but believe her that everything was going to be okay. How could she not when Choerry looked at her so earnestly and spoke with so much calmness in her voice. Of course Yeojin would jump if she told her to.<br/>
So when Choerry tugged her hand and took off running, Yeojin followed her to the very end of the ledge. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next day at around 3:30, Haseul and her friends started searching the woods. Mrs. Im insists Yeojin was not in the woods, but Haseul knows how Yeojin thinks. If she wanted to be found (she does) she’d hide somewhere blatantly obvious but still time consuming to search. Evidently the woods were too time consuming for the police to search because they refused to do it.<br/>
“Useless bastards,” Hyunjin muttered, snapping sticks with every step.<br/>
“Can’t believe her parents didn’t notice when she was gone last night,” Heejin added.<br/>
Haseul almost walked into a tree again, too busy trying to get a good signal on her phone.<br/>
“Oh they noticed,” she mumbled, “They just don’t care.”<br/>
“Damn, I’d run away too,” Hyunjin raised her eyebrows.<br/>
"Come on, Yeojin, pick up your phone!" Haseul grumbled before giving up and putting her phone back in her sweatshirt pocket.
"Can't say we didn't try," Heejin patted her on the shoulder.
</p>
<p>
They wandered aimlessly through the woods, Vivi always leading the way. You'd assume she knew these woods, but in actuality she was just completely guessing. Her natural instinct must've worked because they were led to a spot deep in the woods that looked to have been a campsite. Heejin knelt down to observe the mini fire pit.<br/>
"It's warm," she announced, feeling the blackened sticks.<br/>
"And it wasn't doused properly. Fire hazard," Hyunjin remarked. 
Heejin threw the stick at her feet.<br/>
"She camped out here all night?" Haseul gasped in disbelief.<br/>
"Where is she now?"
They looked around the area, trying to find any sign of her presence.<br/>
"She must've left. Maybe we just missed her and she turned back?" Vivi suggested.<br/>
Heejin chewed her bottom lip, "We would've seen her on our way here. She must've gone in another direction."<br/>
"Let's just keep walking then. Vivi, you lead the way," Haseul ordered.<br/>
"What? Why me?"<br/>
"You're faster than us. And you haven't lead us into any bear traps yet," Heejin said.<br/>
"Yet," Hyunjin repeated ominously.<br/>
"Fine. But keep up, we're running out of daylight."<br/>
They followed the girl with faded pink hair, her short stature weaving seamlessly in and out of the trees. She skipped over every rock and root, the girls mimicking her exact movements to avoid tripping. 
“Vivi, how are you...so fast?” Haseul panted.<br/>
From a few yards away Vivi stopped walking and whipped around, her ponytail swinging.<br/>
“Because I actually run on the track team.”<br/>
“Hey I run!” Hyunjin yelled from the back.<br/>
“Yeah, your mouth,” Heejin snorted.<br/>
“I'll run you ever with my car!” she threatened jokingly.<br/>
"Oooh your mom's 2014 KIA Sorento is so scary," Heejin taunted. 
Hyunjin shoved her and she shoved back, until they both broke out into a sprint.<br/>
“Last one to the diving tower has to buy us Dunkin’!” Heejin shouted.<br/>
Vivi rolled her eyes but started running when Haseul picked up speed. Somehow, Heejin and Hyunjin both ended up in last place, probably because they were too busy trying to sabotage each other instead of actually running. The four of them made it to the chain link fence, out of breath and sweaty.<br/>
"Hey, Vivi's internal compass lead us to the tower. You really are the best!" Haseul complimented.<br/>
Heejin joined in, "Go Vivi!"<br/>
"And there were no bear traps! I think Vivi is a God amongst men, to be quite frank," Hyunjin shrugged.<br/>
Vivi waved off their praises, but was visibly blushing.<br/>
"Why don't they just tear this thing down?" Hyunjin said, squinting up at the tower.<br/>
"They're probably planning on it now. It was a major safety hazard to begin with, so I doubt the cost of liability is worth it," Vivi reasoned.<br/>
Haseul walked the length of the fence, noting the rust and overgrown weeds crawling up the sides of it.<br/>
"The school can't be sued though, right? I mean it's technically trespassing on private property. They aren't responsible for kids who jump the fence," Hyunjin pointed out, shaking the fence to test its strength.<br/>
It was flimsy, and with more power, it could possibly be torn off the hinges. Hyunjin stopped the rattling and walked towards the gate.<br/>
"Has this gate always been locked?" she asked, without turning back.<br/>
"Yeah, the school had it locked up since they first shut it down. Not even custodians are allowed in," Heejin gestured to the grime-filled pool.<br/>
Haseul spoke up, "But they did unlock it to investigate it, I assume."<br/>
The other three girls gravitated towards her, curious about what she had in mind. Hyunjin was the first to get to the gate and the others stood a few feet back. The chains were in a heap in front of the gate. At first, she thought they had just been taken off by the investigators. She froze when her touched the padlock.<br/>
"Did they replace it? The other one must've been rusty," Heejin figured.<br/>
Hyunjin turned around, holding the opened padlock in her hand.<br/>
"It was unlocked."<br/>
Heejin knew her best friend was not easily scared. When they went to summer camp together in 5th grade, Hyunjin always laughed during the campfire stories. In 7th grade, they went in through a haunted house tour and she was silent the entire time, minus the time <em>she</em> jumped out to scare the actors. This is the first time in years that Heejin had seen her best friend go white in the face.<br/>
"Maybe they forgot to lock it back up after the investigation," Vivi suggested unsurely.<br/>
Haseul swallowed a knot in her throat, "Or someone broke in..."<br/>
"Haseul..." Heejin said wearily, "Call her phone."<br/>
She fumbled to get her phone out of her sweatshirt pocket, hands shaking as she opened her contacts. They held their breath, frozen in time.<br/>
Then they heard it ring.<br/>
It was ringing.<br/>
At first they couldn't tell where, but their eyes followed the vines of the tower and they stood in horror as the ringing continued.<br/>
The sound was coming from the diving platform.</p>
<p>The gate creaked as Hyunjin held it open. The concrete was cracked with plants and moss sprouting. There was a stench that hung heavy in the air, one that can only be described as 'moldy wet dog'. The girls didn't dare look into the pool, terrified of what they might find. A body would be the worst thing, but anything else would be pretty gross too. Haseul went straight to the ladder, shaking it to test its sturdiness. It didn't make the most pleasant noise, but it could hold her weight. She turned back to the other girls waiting behind her.<br/>
"The ladder can only take one at a time. I'll go up first."<br/>
The three watched her climb up the ladder slowly and carefully. It felt like forever before she made it to the first platform.<br/>
"There's nothing here," she called down.<br/>
Hyunjin made her way up, and when she joined Haseul, Heejin started her ascent.<br/>
"It must be on the second level then," Hyunjin concluded.<br/>
Haseul nodded, and made her way up the next set of ladders. She was holding onto the railing so hard that the chipped paint sticking to her sweaty palms. But she made it to the second platform, her heart beating out of her chest. Hyunjin was right behind her in no time, so she felt a little less anxious.<br/>
There, a foot away from where they stood, was Yeojin's phone. She thought she was imagining it until Hyunjin told the other two to get up here.<br/>
Haseul walked toward the phone, feeling sick as she crouched down to pick it up. She felt her hands shake, but held onto the phone tightly so she didn't drop it. The phone still turned on, though it was low battery. There were several notifications of missed calls from Haseul and a few from Choerry. To her surprise, there was no passcode enabled, and it opened to the notes app.<br/>
"There's a note here that was made at 12:04 last night," Haseul read aloud:</p>
<p>
  <em>To my parents and Haseul: I’m sorry I was such a brat. I did not mean to cause so much trouble, please forgive me. Haseul can sell all of my stuff to pay for college. It's the least I can do since she's out of a job now. Please take care of my frogs when I’m gone. I don’t want to do this, but Choerry wants to go see Olivia. I tried to change her mind, I really did, but she was going to jump without me. I can’t live without my only friend. </em>
</p>
<p>“Jump? You mean she…” Heejin started.<br/>
“Choerry was with her?” Haseul said more like a question.<br/>
Hyunjin shook her head in denial, “Why would they do that? They couldn’t have.”<br/>
She took the phone from Haseul, reading it over again.
“Somebody else look, I don’t want to see it,” Heejin screwed her eyes shut.<br/>
Haseul sunk to the floor, feeling more nauseous than before. Vivi walked around her, peering over the edge carefully.<br/>
“There’s nothing to see. Just leaves and algae puddles,” she said relieved.<br/>
“Wait, really?” Heejin opened her eyes and checked for herself. “Then where are-”<br/>
“Uh, guys. Look.” Hyunjin pointed past the fence where another group was coming into view.<br/>
“Sorry we’re late to the search party. We ran into one of the preppies,” Lip shouted.<br/>
“They were gonna get here first anyways, they’re runners,” Jinsoul pointed out.<br/>
Trailing behind them, wielding a large stick for protection, was Choerry.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I will try my best to make the coming chapters as non-confusing as possible. But this is the loonaverse that we're talking about so no promises lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. new</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Deliver us from Yvesil<br/>Amen. </p>
<p>Yves goes to confessional and leaves feeling worse about herself.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I updated the tags, mind the trigger warnings!! </p>
<p>TW // bullying, religious guilt, idk angst??</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every Thursday evening at 6:30, Yves sits in the confession booth with the pastor. They start by saying the Lord’s Prayer, and end with her leaving in tears. She had gotten off easy considering she committed assisted suicide. Olivia’s aunt didn’t want to press charges— under a few conditions. </p>
<p>Yves remembers the first time she saw her step in the school’s conference room. St. Cecilia’s administration decided to handle this “under the table” as opposed to bringing it to civil court. Yves didn’t even know how they managed to get the authorities off their backs; this should’ve made national news. But rich people have a way with words, she supposed. This town is probably covering up a lot of dark secrets under a rug made of money. So Yves and her parents agreed to meet with Olivia’s aunt to sort things out privately–– with their lawyers and the school board present, of course. The woman who walked in that day dressed modestly with a clean bob and a chunky cross necklace. She walked with a bit of a limp, and wouldn’t let you forget it; she insisted this qualified her for handicap parking. She didn’t seem like much of a threat. But who knew that underneath it all was a psychotic God-fearing, Bible-bonking, nut case.</p>
<p>Yves had a written apology ready, only to be completely ignored. The woman went straight to Yves’s family lawyer and dismissed him. Confused, he tried to explain to her why a lawyer needed to be present.<br/>
“I don’t care for politics, you’re not needed here. I’ll handle this myself!”<br/>
Yves’s parents tried to step in but Mrs. Son persisted.<br/>
“I’m not suing you! That’s too much paperwork.”<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“That money isn’t going to save Hyejoo,” she said indignantly.<br/>
Yves was glad she wasn’t being sued, but she didn’t feel the weight lift off her back.<br/>
“But I do have one request.”<br/>
“Yes, of course,” Yves' father urged.<br/>
“She must rid herself from the demons that plague her soul.”<br/>
Yves thought it was a joke at first, but nobody was laughing. Her family lawyer slowly backed out of the room, realizing this wasn’t his area of expertise. The school board members curiously waited for her to continue.<br/>
“I’m- I’m sorry, what?”<br/>
“Your daughter is obviously possessed. You can see it in her eyes. Look at her skin!” Mrs. Son pointed.<br/>
<i>Okay, rude.</i><br/>
Yves’ mom interjected, “I don’t think that’s appropriate for you to say.”<br/>
“I’m saving your daughter from eternal damnation. Something I tried and failed to do with Hyejoo.”<br/>
Her father turned to the headmaster.<br/>
“This is ridiculous. She can’t do that right?”<br/>
“Mrs. Son offered her own alternative form of community service, and the board agreed that as long as we don’t bring this to court, confessionals count as community service.”<br/>
“This is ridiculous...I’m calling our lawyer back in here,” her mom stood up.<br/>
“Mom, no.”<br/>
Everyone in the room turned to her.<br/>
“It’s a fair punishment. I committed a sin,” Yves said, eyes shaking from how hard she was holding back her tears.<br/>
She turned to Mrs. Son, “How long do I have to do it for?”<br/>
The woman scoffed, “However long it takes for your conscience to be clean.” </p>
<p>It’s been a week of confessional community service and Yves cannot say she feels any cleaner. Quite the opposite, really.<br/>
Yves learned how to deal with the bruises on her knees and the fingernail imprints on her palms. She learned how to cry silently and fake a smile. She learned what the bathroom floor felt like at 3 am when she didn’t have the strength to pull herself up off the floor. She had lost a significant amount of weight; she feels sick when she eats anything but the Eucharist. Her spindly silhouette created shadows that even she was scared of. She sleeps with all the lights on. Most nights she finds her way to the bathroom floor. </p>
<p>She feels safe there. The bright lights drown out the shadows, and the floor suits her tired body. </p>
<p>Her new favorite pastime is taking long baths. The water is warm at first; hot enough to sting the abrasions on her skin. She doesn’t care though, she thinks she deserves it. At first the bath was a place to sooth her sore skeleton, but the longer she stays the colder it gets. Even when her fingertips have gone wrinkly, and her lips turned blue, she’ll stay in the bath. In part because she can’t find the energy to get out, but the other part is because it feels right to just lay there. If she closes her eyes, she can pretend she’s wading in holy water. She can pretend she’s being baptized again, starting over fresh in the eyes of God. These baths seemed to help, they seemed to be the only thing that would work. </p>
<p>Back in middle school, she’d self-baptize just like this.<br/>
The girls in her dance class used to torment her everyday. She never got along very well with kids her own age, especially not those kind. Yves was awkward, anxiety ridden, and ungraceful as ever. But she wanted to be a dancer so, so badly that she put up with their bullying. It started out as hazing, Yves assumed they'd get bored and leave her alone eventually. They's steal her slippers, cut her ribbons a centimeter shorter each day, "accidentally" bump into her, making her seem like the one off-beat. It was stupid, catty behavior. But they never let up. They'd whisper during class, calling her things like "chicken legs" and giggle when she'd mess up. Some of them went to the same middle school as her, so she'd see them in homeroom where they'd try to humiliate her in front of boys. That was actually one of the reasons she went to St. Cecilia's; no boys. Things got worse for her when got better at dancing. The more she improved, the more the dance teachers noticed her; and the more they noticed her, the more likely she was to be asked to participate in the spring recital. The other dancers didn't like that at all. </p>
<p>Yves was stretching one day before class when a few girls came up to her.<br/>
"You're doing a piece in the spring showcase with the upperclassmen?" one girl accused.<br/>
Yves nodded timidly. She backed away from the group.<br/>
"I hope you know it's out of pity. You aren't actually good enough."<br/>
She was stunned, and even more-so with several sets of eyes on her.<br/>
"I-I'm sorry," she panicked, "It wasn't my choice-"<br/>
"But you choose to stay here. Why haven't you left? Nobody. Likes. You." she said taking a step closer to Yves, who was trying not to cry.
The other girls circled them like hawks, laughing. It made her entire body feel like it was on fire.<br/>
"You don't belong here, Sooyoung. <i>There's never going to be a place for you here.</i>"</p>
<p>
The memory is a bit hazy, but she remembers running out of the room and hiding in the bathrooms until her mom picked her up once class was over. She practically bolted to the car and refused to talk for the entire ride home. She took a hot bath that night. She felt numb to the core, but at least she could feel the hot water. </p>
<p>
The same logic applied tonight. At least she feels something, right? If she were too far gone to be saved, she wouldn't feel this remorse. This guilt is a holy reminder that she has a conscience who wants to be clean again. She wants to be like new again, even if it burns.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yves backstory chapter DONE I can’t wait for the next chapter 🍎🌔</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>